Jewish World Review Sept. 8, 2004 / 23 Elul, 5764

Lloyd Grove

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Like a lead balloon; first relief, then worry; godless elitism?; more


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Was it "The Curse of the Foiled Balloon Drop"?


It didn't seem all that significant, at the Democratic convention a month ago, when the balloons didn't rain down as planned on presidential nominee John Kerry. But it probably didn't seem all that important back in 1980, when President Jimmy Carter suffered a similar balloon-drop malfunction before facing off against Ronald Reagan.


But now that former frontrunner Kerry is badly trailing President Bush — whose convention balloon-drop was a triumph — we're left with the sad image of those thousands of balloons trapped in the ceiling of Boston's FleetCenter.


A looming metaphor for political disaster? On Tuesday, this column consulted top balloon-drop experts.


Bush balloon-drop impresario Treb Heining: "People say, 'Well, it's not brain surgery!' But in a lot of ways, brain surgery is a lot simpler! It's like a symphony — you've got to have a system that works. It's a celebratory thing, it's the final thing people see, and it's something everyone anticipates. I gotta believe there is a connection between the balloon drop and the convention bounce."


Veteran Democratic convention impresario Gary Smith: "It wasn't a bad omen, it was an unfortunate situation . . . The balloon drop has been absolutely blown out of proportion."


Psychic-to-the-stars Wilma Carroll: "There's an aspect in the sky, when the moon is void, and if the Democrats did it at that time, sometimes it botches things up. But to me, it's not a significant omen."


Democratic pollster Harrison Hickman: "Why do you always call about things that embarrass the people in my party? Sorry, I didn't take my comedic Viagra today."

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THE BRIEFING


FIRST RELIEF, THEN WORRY: The good news, as far as the Congressional Black Caucus is concerned, is that President Bush hasn't responded to the group's grudging pro forma invitation to speak to its annual conference this week. But Washington-based journalist Jawn Murray reports that there's some nail-biting over what controversial social critic Bill Cosby might say in today's speech titled "Educational Apartheid in the U.S." Said a CBC source: "We're hoping he doesn't cause as much stir as he did in previous speeches because we don't want any negative attention taking away from our main objective — which is getting (John) Kerry and (John) Edwards elected."


GODLESS ELITISM?: Social satirist Fran Lebowitz seems to be on a jihad against religion. Excerpting her book "Progress" in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair, Lebowitz modestly proposes a 12-point "Reversion of Rights" to eradicate God from public life — including: "All religious leaders must be elected to their positions by representatives of the secular community formerly known as 'the people.'" And: "In accordance with the recent enactment of the statute known as the Full Faith and Credit initiative, the national debt will be paid in full by a randomly selected assortment of faith-based institutions."


INEVITABLE BUSH TWIN ITEM: Us Weekly reports that at club 17 in the wee hours one night last week, vodka-swilling Jenna Bush was trapped in an elevator. After obtaining her freedom by prying open the doors with a chopstick, she allegedly celebrated with tequila.



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© 2003, Creators Syndicate