Jewish World Review Jan. 28, 2004 / 5 Shevat, 5764

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Eyebrow-raising politics; call him indescribable; Woods vs. Williams; more


http://www.jewishworldreview.com | NEW YORK — The down and dirty New Hampshire Primary race ended not a moment too soon for front-runner John Kerry.


Since the Massachusetts senator's Iowa victory Jan. 19, operatives for rival Democratic campaigns had been insinuating to political reporters that Kerry was getting Botox injections, paralyzing the muscles that produce worry lines.


On Monday — the same day I received such a call from a hardened spin doctor versed in the black arts of negative campaigning — Kerry spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter told me she's been busy denying the rumor for the past week.


"Have you looked at him?" Cutter demanded, referring to her creased, droopy-eyed candidate. "He looks like a 60-year-old man who has been working too hard running for president, with little time for sleep and no time to worry about what he looks like."


The Botox attack apparently wasn't dismissed from the get-go because Kerry's 65-year-old wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, openly touts her regular use of the wrinkle-fighting treatments. The Chicago Tribune put the rumor into public circulation with a story last week, and the Boston Herald followed up with a Sunday editorial noting that "Kerry does look a darn bit shinier than usual."


But his comely spokeswoman explained the situation this way: "Our opponents can't attack us on the issues, so now they're attacking us on cosmetics. Pathetic."


FOOD FOR THOUGHT?


New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has finally, reluctantly apologized to the widow of Dr. Robert Atkins for insulting the diet guru, who died last year, as "fat" — and claiming that Atkins' carbohydrate-light "food was inedible."


But Hizzoner's press secretary, Ed Skyler, is still stewing in his own juices over the incident.


Obviously very cheesed, Skyler told me Wednesday that he has a bone to pick with NY1 News reporter Michael Scotto, who managed to tape Bloomberg's private remarks last week during an off-the-record lunch with firefighters in Brooklyn.


"It was a blatant violation of long-standing ground rules and a cheap-shot that had nothing to do with journalism," Skyler said, insisting that the City Hall regular was totally off the menu when he brought a microphone into the photo-op.


Bloomberg — as quoted in a transcript e-mailed to scores of journalists by the NY1 News publicity department — tucked into a plate of Atkins-prohibited pasta as he mused deliciously:


"Atkins is dead. I don't believe that bull — — that he dropped dead slipping on a sidewalk. Yeah, right. I actually went to his house out in South Hampton for a Pataki fundraiser two years ago. The guy was fat — big guy — but heavy. And the food was inedible. I took one appetizer and I had to spit it into my napkin. It was just terrible."


Veronica Atkins promptly went on national television to demand that Bloomberg eat his words.


But Skyler has a bitter taste in his mouth.


Will Scotto (who didn't return my phone call Wednesday, though his bosses at NY1 stoutly defend his scoop) only get crumbs at City Hall from now on?


"We've never had a problem with news organizations following the reasonable traditional ground rules that are laid out," Skyler parried. "And those that have an objection don't have to cover the events."


Sounds like slim pickings.


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THE BRIEFING


CALL HIM INDESCRIBABLE: Demi Moore's young swain Ashton Kutcher — whose movie "The Butterfly Effect" is attracting decent box office numbers along with bad reviews — apparently has an unusual relationship with the three daughters Moore shares with ex-hubby Bruce Willis. "I don't see them as brothers or sisters," the 25-year-old Kutcher tells Steppin' Out magazine about Rumer, Tallulah Belle and Scout. "I just try to help them in their lives. I try to help them with the problems that they have, and they bring me a lot of joy. But to define what I am to them would be very difficult and unnecessary. I don't think they need to have a label for me to appreciate what I do for them, and I don't need a label for them to appreciate what they do for me." As for his much-hyped romance with the 41-year-old Moore, "my current significant other," Kutcher says this: "I wish people would focus more on their own lives. . . . Are people really saying that it's a 20 to 1 chance I'll get married this year? Hell, if those are the odds, I'll place a bet right now and fix the game!"


WHAT WOULD JESUS GROSS?: Mel Gibson has been accused of a lot of things since he made "The Passion," his controversial movie chronicling the crucifixion of Christ. But nobody accuses him of ignoring the Hollywood profit motive. National Public Radio is set to report that Gibson is planning a whole line of products timed to the film's release next month, including "Passion" T-shirts and other merchandise. Gibson flack Alan Nierob tells NPR that every studio licenses film-related tchotchkes, and his client would foolish to do otherwise.


WOODS VS. WILLIAMS: It's not often that we pick up a hot item from Golf Digest. The latest issue features this dishy quote from Earl Woods, Tiger's dad: "When Venus Williams won Wimbledon, there was her father, standing up with a sign that read, 'It's Venus' party, and no one's invited.' I couldn't imagine doing something like that. It would embarrass Tiger, and it would embarrass me. It infuriates me when people compare me to Richard Williams, because I don't respect him." Over to you, Mr. Williams!



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