Jewish World Review March 31, 2004 / 9 Nissan, 5764

Lloyd Grove

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Consumer Reports

Hair-raising day on Wall Street; Foxy lady loses 50 Cent; How do you say "party animal" in Hebrew?; Rev. Al and Janet Jackson; more | NEW YORK — The notoriously skittish stock market has turned on much less.

On Monday morning, "Money Honey" Maria Bartiromo wore her hair as usual on CNBC's "Squawk Box" — shoulder-length but swept off her forehead.

But after lunch, when she appeared on "Closing Bell With Maria Bartiromo," it was a whole new do. Suddenly there were bangs. Bangs down to her well-plucked eyebrows.

Wall Street was riveted — and then bullish — on Bartiromo's bangs.

Immediately the market started to climb.

Since Bartiromo got her bangs, the Dow has risen a net 42 points — the result so far at Tuesday's closing.

Was the market upturn caused by the Bartimoro Bang Effect?

"No, that's funny — it wasn't," Bartiromo modestly demurred to this column. "I got bangs, I like it. I actually went to my hairdresser, Serge Normant, right after 'Squawk Box.' I asked him to try something a little different. It took a little getting used to. . . . I got a lot of emails — I think people liked it. It's pretty radical because it's so straight."

Fund manager Michael Holland was among the legions who noticed.

"It looked fine — but I'm sorry, I'm not very good at these things — it's beyond my payscale," Holland told me, noting that he himself has zero hair on his head.

A senior equity trader, who asked for anonymity, told this column that customers "were calling from all over the country and asking, 'When did Maria get that haircut? That's not the way she looked in the morning!'

"I think everybody liked it, they thought it was pretty sexy," the trader said. "The old story always was that people felt that when her hair is short the market will go up. . . . The bottom line is that people noticed it, and they liked it."

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Thirty-nine-year-old actress Vivica A. Fox says she wishes she were still dating — or whatever she was doing with — 27-year-old rap star 50 Cent.

"We broke up because of all the media attention," Fox confided at Sunday's premiere party for the Miramax kiddie movie "Ella Enchanted," in which she plays a fairy godmother. "But I didn't want to!"

Though brief, their romance was richly rewarding publicity-wise. They appeared as a couple last August on the red carpet of the MTV Video Music Awards, and then spent that weekend desperately seeking privacy on a hansom carriage ride and other paparazzi-friendly pursuits.

Fox and 50 fizzled in November.

The actress didn't look all that broken-hearted. She was poured into a sexy, back-baring white dress.

"And I'm almost 40!" she crowed. "I keep in shape by doing tae-bo with Billy Blanks and following the Zone diet."

She fell off the wagon into a pile of french fries at the after-party at Dylan's Candy Bar, where pre-teen girls on a sugar high, including the two daughters of Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein, scampered madly and shrieked at star Anne Hathaway; Hugh Dancy, who plays Prince Charmont in the movie; and Minnie Driver, who plays a fairy.

"Guys, you're killing me!" Driver pleaded as waist-high autograph hounds mobbed her. Weinstein, possibly terrified, hid behind a giant chocolate kiss.


SCENARIO SPINNING: With the presidential primary season over early, Democratic insiders are speculating that presumptive nominee John Kerry will name a running mate well before the July convention in Boston to recapture momentum, goose his fundraising and generate favorable publicity in key battleground states. Some Dems are advising Kerry to name his potential Cabinet at the convention in Boston — with Bill Clinton's name being bandied about as a possible secretary of state (assuming such an appointment would pass constitutional and political muster).

I was surprised that Kerry campaign spokeswoman Stephanie Cutter didn't dismiss these rumors out of hand.

"President Clinton would clearly help the United States regain the respect of our allies across the world," Cutter e-mailed. "As a result of his arrogant go-it-alone policies, President Bush has driven away our friends and allies, leaving us to bear the burden of fighting terrorism and funding the reconstruction of Iraq. But it's premature to discuss vice-presidential candidates or Cabinet positions."

HOW DO YOU SAY "PARTY ANIMAL" IN HEBREW?: Former Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres isn't letting a little unrest at home get in the way of a social life in New York. The 80-year-old Peres enjoyed a late dinner Saturday with nine friends at Bruno's, the swank Upper East Side supper club that attracts men of a certain age and women of another. The group arrived with four bodyguards at 11 p.m. and didn't leave until after 1 a.m. Kim Cattrall was eating with three girlfriends nearby, but nobody table-hopped.

IN JANET'S CORNER: Al Sharpton is backing Janet Jackson to the hilt. "I'm hear to support Janet," the perennial candidate told me at the diva's album launch party. "Everything that happened after the Super Bowl was so overblown. (Federal Communications Commission Chairman) Michael Powell overreacted in order that the Bush administration could try and distract people from the real problems of this country."

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03/26/04: Bye, bye Banfield; from porn to politics?; more
03/24/04: The perils of film criticism; Dole-ing out compliments; but what about a cure for career lag?; more
03/19/04: Trump trumps everything; Mario vs. Joe; Trudeau pays up; more
03/17/04: Remembering Hillary %*&$#! Clinton; PUT AWAY THAT KRYPTONITE!; more
03/12/04: OOPS!, did Jayson Blair do it again?; skewing Young; more
03/10/04: The laugh that dare not speaks its name; Mistaken identity? NAH!; Is this a great country or what?
03/05/04: Bush vs. Kerry: a Skull session; Kramer vs. The Times, scorch session; enthusiasm curbed; (Tina) Brown-nosing?
03/03/04: Oscars memorialize Hitler's fave filmmaker; baubles, bangles and Kelly Osbourne; moonwalking through cyberspace; more
02/27/04: Regan rebellion; Ed Limato strikes again!; tears for Tom; more
02/26/04: McCain predicts a nasty campaign; the misdirected missive; Janet Jackson, the interview; more
02/20/04: Introducing the Kerry sisters; cyberflap!; Snoop Dogg v. O'Reilly?; more
02/18/04: John Kerry's Friendster?; On the mend?; food for fraughtm; more
02/13/04: John & Carolyn, redux; Zell Miller shows the flag; kill Quentin?; more
02/11/04: HE FEELS BAD!; Dick Cheney, still not dead; more
02/06/04: Glittering Grammys; a laurel for Janet; Haryl's heart
02/04/04: Shriver quits NBC; "Marshmallow" Mike Tyson?; Super Bowl propriety?; MTV's next production?; more
01/30/04: The political forehead front; Alies meets Franken; the art of the hype; arrested career development?
01/28/04: Eyebrow-raising politics; call him indescribable; Woods vs. Williams; more
01/23/04: Eyebrow-raising mystery; who's punk'd anyway?; don't curb your enthusiasm; more
01/21/04: Ridiculous lives of the self-important stars; long arm of the law; all's fair in love and literature
01/16/04: Global warming at a glacial pace; targeting pop culture; Is 'the price of loyalty' too high?
01/14/04: Busting on the "cult buster"; Sarsgaard thinks globally; one angry woman; more
01/08/04: Sitcom star won't be excused from Blake murder trial; fierstein on fire; Drudge & Blumenthal, together again
01/07/04: Bono hits a brick wall; Britney, before the nuttiness; the Arianna primary; more
01/02/04: Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio!?; "Bachelor" bruises; Returning to the scene of the crime?
12/31/03: Disaster for the defense; no-war Omar; the shoe must go on; more
12/19/03: Bob Shapiro's free commercial?; Are sophisticated and hip New Yawkers easily duped?; Positive Saddam fallout?; Ratty insult?
12/17/03: Magic Mystery Tour?; Russell Simmons battles ink by the barrel; Would it have killed her to say 'get well soon'?; no Gest room
12/12/03: Karenna defends her dad; now she tells us!; say it ain't so, Mo!; more
12/10/03: Man & wife, interruptus; pepperoni has feelings, too; more
12/05/03: The knives are out; Who's sorry now?; JWR in the news
12/04/03: The war of the gest-minnellis; something borrowed, something cashmere; fashion trendsetter, nailed!
12/03/03: Colombian grace under pressure; Lord of the Screwups; more
12/02/03: Curb your anti-Semitism?; fame fatigue?; bowing to pressure?; more
12/01/03: Dennis the Menace strikes again; first literary feud of the holiday season; Norma Jean & Hef in heaven?; the fog of McNamara; more
11/26/03: Catherine Crier raps Jacko's TV defender, refuses on-air hint of racism; At 50, Tina's in full cry; STAY OUT OF HER WAY!; more
11/25/03: The mogul strikes back?; go ahead, make Harvey's day; more
11/24/03: Georgette's pilfered baubles; prosecutor of pop?; absent but not missed?; Norman Mailer's prescription for education reform; more
11/20/03: Is a movie career in store for Maria Bartiromo?; People for the Unethical Treatment of Humans?; more
11/19/03: Scientologists on Razor's edge?; picking a winner?; source on a hot tin roof?; more
11/18/03: Clay Aiken neuters PETA?; THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS!; a mural for Joe
11/17/03: When networks attack!; leaky Fawcett; forget the Paris Hilton video!; more
11/13/03: Publicity hounds; Prophetic priest; Dumb and Dumber
11/12/03: Not so Rosie; do you believe in miracles?; catalogue of sins; My Heart Belongs to Koppel
11/10/03: Gen. clark on the Subway diet; life of the party; MTV's Dumb and Dumber?; the hug issue; but does the $6,000 shower curtain convey?; red faces at Buckingham palace?
11/06/03: Let them eat pita?; verbal jousting; pretenders to the throne?
11/05/03: Will Harvey Weinstein and Gregg Easterbrook now be pals?; crazed Quentin; more
11/04/03: Herding off the hipsters; more
11/03/03: Dean's tell-all on himself?; Lisaraye vs. Mya?; the odd couple; no need to panic; just don't call him "Scooter"!; Rosie scenarios
10/30/03: Autumn of the editor?; Cynthia Nixon's split may be costly; 'Burning' questions
10/29/03: Ah-nold, unauthorized!; a dilemma for Melissa Gilbert? not even Frank Gifford can help him now!; nobody wanted Elizabeth Hurley
10/28/03: It's Cher calling!; Brown Alert
10/27/03: Paparazzi uncensored!; where's Aaron Brown?; postcards from the middle; invasion of the party snatchers?; House flooded when not afire?; suspenders of disbelief?
10/23/03: Ace up Howard Dean's sleeve; Woody's ordeal; Paul Simon's kid makes good; the non-beginning of a beautiful friendship?
10/22/03: Showing the flag; Joe Frazier, smokin'!; see Carville bruised-up — sort of
10/21/03: Morris & Jaci's charm offensive; Hell hath no fury; Wintertime for Hitler
10/20/03: Isn't it rich?; men (and the occasional woman) behaving badly; peacenik John Lennon supporting the U.S. military?; courageous Connie
10/16/03: George Clooney and intolerable Drudgery; Cameron goes native; and you thought the war in Iraq was nasty?; now it can be revealed; star wars?
10/15/03: Kerik into the breach?; holiday pander?; "the Dink" corrects the record; more
10/14/03: Madge gets mad, lips are sealed; the candidates who listen; he who hesitates is Beatty
10/13/03: Clothes, but no cigar; New Yorkers put a Sox in it; mad at Matalin?; more
10/09/03: Gray Davis goes to the movies; Ali Wentworth, working blue; Law & Order?; pot of gold at the end of the rainbow room?
10/08/03: Art-time for Hitler; the actress who hates movies; lying "Liam"
10/07/03: Pond scum of the rich and famous
07/24/03: Ali and George, living it up; Mel Gibson's Washington power play
07/21/03: White House smear?
07/17/03: Yet another intern scandal; it's her party and she can pay if she wants to
07/14/03: On the auction block: JFK'S boxer shorts; love bytes the maestro
07/10/03: A hairy situation at Homeland Security; Van Susteren v. Orth
06/30/03: Rep. Patrick Kennedy: I've never worked a (bleeping) day in my life; Drudge's dressing down; Ken Lay's Kerry connection
06/26/03: Rapping the beat
06/23/03: Another Watergate scandal?; AL GORE TV!
06/19/03: Tony Snow, rocker?; that won't be crow on Mr. Carlson's plate
06/16/03: Missing dog, ransom demand, Hollywood ending
06/12/03: Giving both parties the needle
06/05/03: Incoming from Barbara Bush?
06/02/03: Bob Dole's plan for fighting unemployment
05/29/03: Newt's new novel
05/27/03: Hitchens & Blumenthal, together again; He still believes in a man called Hope
05/09/03: Close, but no cigar; Romeo & Juliet with a happy ending?; Geraldo to help Heebs?
05/05/03: So Bill Gates and Tom Brokaw walk into a coffee bar . . .; hotel hell; more

© 2003, Creators Syndicate