Jewish World Review Jan. 29, 2001 / 6 Shevat, 5761
David Limbaugh
The Old Limey
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
I WANT to take a brief respite from political commentary to tell you about a brand new novel. "The Old Limey" is H.W. (Harry) Crocker III’s first stab at fiction, but you would never suspect it from reading it.
At the outset I must issue a disclaimer: I have just completed my book, to be published in March, and Harry was my editor. But he didn’t ask me to plug his book. In fact, he didn’t even tell me about it. And though I have yet to negotiate a kickback for plugging it, I am going to plow ahead anyway.
This is a great book, an absolute gut-buster. Whether or not you were required in humanities or some other high school or college course to read "Don Quixote" you can treat yourself to the same kind of humor with "The Old Limey."
The book’s lead character, General Nigel Haversham, is a retired British soldier who leaves England for Los Angeles on a mission to rescue his goddaughter, who, presumably, has been kidnapped by her drug-dealing scoundrel of a boyfriend, Sean Stalker.
Unlike Don Quixote, Nigel has no Sancho Panza as a trusted sidekick, but he quickly remedies that. Shortly after arriving in Los Angeles, he acquires two beautiful beach babes as his American guides and all-around assistants. Nigel has an irresistible charm that he misinterprets as sex appeal, but his Don Juan illusions are harmless. He’s not really interested in hanky panky, anyway. He’s on a mission, and he will only use his magnetism if necessary to ensure their commitment to his cause.
Nigel is nothing if not the poster boy for political incorrectness. His interaction with his two Valley-girl deputies produces a hilarious clash of cultures, of which Nigel is acutely aware (and sometimes annoyed), and the girls are mostly oblivious. But I don’t mean to imply that Nigel is without his fantasies. In fact, probably the most amusing feature of the book is Nigel’s constant daydreaming, sometimes conscious, sometimes not.
In virtually every conversation in which he engages, there is the outward dialogue and Nigel’s simultaneous inner thoughts (many of which involve his previous military campaigns in the wilds of Africa, etc.), which rarely bear any resemblance to the words he conveys. These nonstop cerebral tidbits had me laughing so hard in a public place that the proprietor demanded to know what I was reading and a free copy for himself. Well, yes, I know the author, I bragged, but it’s not like he’s going to ship me free books for my friends.
Nigel is a bit like the Pink Panther’s Inspector Clouseau. Despite his perpetual screw-ups, he always lands on his feet. No matter what advantages he may have -- from superior armament to the element of surprise -- he invariably manages to bungle things and forfeit his edge. Yet he still manages to prevail in the end. Often this is due to the even greater ineptitude of his adversaries, but sometimes Nigel wins by the sheer virtuousness of his assignment. It’s a good over evil thing, further skewering the pieties of political correctness.
Speaking of political correctness, we conservatives (and we know who we are) are constantly bellyaching about our lack of progress in the ongoing war for our culture. Commentators, such as myself, decry rampant societal decadence. Although such commentary is essential (for my career as a writer), it occurs to me that a more effective way actually to change the culture for the better is for our side to begin producing more “culture” itself. Harry Crocker has done just that, and is therefore deserving of high commendation.
The book is power packed with adventure, and the storyline itself will keep you riveted until the end. But I must confess that my favorite aspect is the irresistible General Nigel Haversham, who is the funniest character I’ve encountered in a modern novel. (As an added bonus, Nigel, despite all his pride and outward stoicism, fools us with a splash of compassionate conservatism toward the end of the story, making the book even timelier than the author may have otherwise anticipated.)
Beyond telling you about this great book, my other motive is to publicly pressure the author for a sequel. I can envision endless adventures for the irrepressible and ageless Nigel
Haversham.
JWR contributor
David Limbaugh
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