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Jewish World Review Sept. 26, 2003 / 29 Elul, 5763

Lenore Skenazy

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Consumer Reports


The secret Post-Its
of Chappaqua


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Item: [Sen. Hillary] Clinton discounted again reports that her husband thinks she should ... run for President now. "I think he has stated the reality that it is up to me." - Daily News, Sept. 23

Some Post-it notes recently found at the Clinton home in Chappaqua. Handwriting appears to be Bill's.

On refrigerator: Don't forget to pick up milk. And Florida.

On bedroom closet door: I took your pantsuit to the cleaners. Cld u pls take Bush?

On notepad by the living room phone: Destiny called.

On notepad by the hall phone: Destiny called again. Sounded mad.

On notepad by the bedroom phone: Eleanor Roosevelt says she's sorry she had to hang up. Wants to continue chat.

And by the kitchen phone: Some crank called to ask if our refrigerator's running. I told him, "That is completely up to our refrigerator. But if it did run, it could beat the pants off Howard Dean's refrigerator."

On dining room table: Decorator is coming tomorrow with some carpet swatches, overhead projector and county-by-county maps with push pins. Okay by u? P.S. What do you think of black leather swivel chairs?

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On the door to Hillary's home office: Told decorator to think blue. Or oval. Maybe a flag theme?

On her desk: While you were out ... 10 shmoes decided to run.

On the fence: Get off of here!

On the hedges: Hope you like the bunting. On sale - couldn't resist! Ditto, the balloons.

On front door: Doorbell broken. GOP stranglehold on America next?

On the backyard BBQ: Prepare for grilling - chicken, chops, Cheney.

On the doghouse: Future home of William Jefferson Clinton if he ever, EVER embarrasses you ... while you hold national office.

On the stove: Pilot light needs to be repaired. As do country's aging infrastructure, international relations and educational policy. But don't bother your pretty little head about those. You belong here in the kitchen, just baking cookies. Right? Or would you prefer to lead the free world?

On linen closet: Make beds. Or history?

On silverware drawer: Set table? Or national priorities?

On the Bible by the bed: Place your right hand here. Look in the mirror. 'Nuff said.

On pillow: This Hershey's Kiss is for you, the woman I will always love and admire, no matter what she chooses to do or not do. Next note: Even though it would be so GREAT to be back in D.C. and throw those election stealers out on their ears and kick butt on the deficit and haul us out of Iraq and - Next note: - sock it to Halliburton and get cracking on solar energy and Head Start and my - er, our - er, your economic recovery plan, not to mention HEALTH CARE. But - Note, continued: - as I said, it's completely up to you, because you are my shining star. Note under pillow: And the Democratic Party's.

Note on bedside reading lamp: Good night! Sleep tight! Don't let the country drift to the right!

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JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.

Up

09/15/03: Let's slam the phone on caller ID
09/03/03: Truth in small, medium & large
08/26/03: U.S. needs amnesty for amnesiacs
08/13/03: It's turning out to be a schadenfreude kind of summer
08/07/03: This helmet thing has loose ends
07/25/03: Hi-tech brain booster — stick it in your ear
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07/03/03: Like being stabbed through the heart with a three-tined plastic spoon
06/23/03: 'Like,' like, covers it all
06/16/03: Your career's over when...
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