Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review Sept. 15, 2003 / 18 Elul, 5763

Lenore Skenazy

Skenazy
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


Let's slam the phone on caller ID


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Ah, sweet mystery of life, I know you're calling. I've got caller ID.

As you probably know, caller ID tells you the name and number of whoever is trying to reach you. And with this Space Age service, all the fun of picking up the phone has gone the way of, "Hello?"

Perhaps you remember that old-fashioned greeting. It's what you would utter - a little hopeful, a little tense - when you had no idea if it was your dream date, dad or dental receptionist calling. Today, about 40 percent of all phone subscribers get caller ID, and their ranks keep growing. This means chances are good that the person you are so eager to talk with has spent at least a nanosecond debating whether or not you are worthy of a chat.

And if you happen to be "Mom," often the answer is - no answer. An informal survey I conducted over the Internet indicates that Mom usually goes straight to voice mail.

And mothers-in-law?

Donate to JWR

Please. As one friend (who prefers to remain anonymous) put it, "My mother-in-law has an uncanny ability to call at exactly the wrong moment, like when my kids are running around killing each other." Caller ID means never having to pick up and explain, "They love each other. Really. Those are screams of affection."

Another friend uses her extra second of in-law prep to put on a fake cheerful voice - or flee the room. And several folks admitted they won't pick up at all when Mom's number beckons, simply because they know that one conversation can take up a whole evening.

Not to mention several sessions of therapy. There is a reason, notes wiseacre Joan Michelson, that it's caller ID, as in "id." It lets us act out all our subconscious aggressions.

Not that caller ID was invented to subvert the American family. No, that was the separate teenage phone line.

Really, caller ID was invented circa 1988 simply because the phone company is always coming up with new ways to complicate our relationships. First it was call waiting: Do you put Friend A on hold in the hopes that a Friend B of higher quality is calling? And if Friend B turns out to be a dud, how do you get him off without actually saying, "Look, I thought you might be someone better, but - ylch." Click.

Yep, that really enhanced our lives. Then came voice mail, which allowed us to annoy all callers with the most moronic of messages. ("We're not home right now" - duh - "so leave a message" - double duh - "at the sound of" - gee, what could it be? The gong? The giant burp? The mariachis? No, by golly - "the beep!")

And let's not forget cell phones, which have us enraging absolutely everyone in earshot - which, by the way, usually does not include the person we are talking to. ("WHAT? You're breaking up. I missed what you just - WHAT?")

And now caller ID has become a permanent part of the landscape, thanks to the increasingly popular phone service packages that include it, no charge.

Sure, most people say they like it. OK, love it. It lets them prepare witty remarks and save valuable seconds by not having to ask, "Who is this?" And, of course, it screens out telemarketers.

But mostly, caller ID provides a life bereft of life's little phone surprises. This is progress only if you have already purchased your aluminum siding and talked to Mom earlier in the day.

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.




JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.

Up

09/03/03: Truth in small, medium & large
08/26/03: U.S. needs amnesty for amnesiacs
08/13/03: It's turning out to be a schadenfreude kind of summer
08/07/03: This helmet thing has loose ends
07/25/03: Hi-tech brain booster — stick it in your ear
07/22/03: Fat label is a loser
07/03/03: Like being stabbed through the heart with a three-tined plastic spoon
06/23/03: 'Like,' like, covers it all
06/16/03: Your career's over when...
06/09/03: FOUND! The Clinton outtakes
05/30/03: Some other tickets I'd like to see
05/28/03: Bottled up by HMOs
05/22/03: We have ways of making you sing
05/20/03: Losing interest in reality
05/13/03: Time & tech wait for no mom
05/08/03: Duck Peking, but not Chinatown
04/29/03: The new SUV - station wagons
04/22/03: Toy alarmists can often be real yo-yos
04/15/03: The Bud Lites of Manhattan
04/01/03: Is that a poem in your pocket?
03/26/03: The view from here --- powerless
03/24/03: Old soldiers never lie
03/18/03: May you choke on your mustache
02/28/03: Iraq needs a dose of reality (TV)
02/20/03: Call the kids the Reheated Generation
02/04/03: Welcome to Mourning TV
01/29/03: Sipping Starbucks on the sly
01/24/03: Golden arches are falling
01/14/03: Designs soar, critics fall flat
01/10/03: Don't smile for the camera
01/06/03: Have they no shame!? My sanity meter is running out
12/31/02: You know, like, resolved
12/23/02: Warning: Art ahead
12/05/02: Hey, boss! Can you hear me now?
12/03/02: Raw & steamy food fight
11/19/02: The new power tie
11/12/02: Googling be gone
11/05/02: Time waits for no blender
10/28/02: As debate rages about 9-11 memorial, a perfect one quietly appears
10/24/02: Your health, their wealth
10/10/02: Sometimes death opens up the door
09/24/02: Reality hits Mickey
09/19/02: Should you report me to the authorities?
09/12/02: War and love: Romance rises from the ashes
08/30/02: If beer is good, spinoffs are great
08/13/02: Braving difficult steps
08/08/02: Can't trust those tourists!
08/02/02: Enquiring about the 'stars'? I already know
07/26/02: Reunions that defy history
07/18/02: Where'd all the logos go?
07/12/02: He's why Boomers leap and twist
07/09/02: Hold on, my molar's ringing
06/25/02: Pitching the fish fork
06/11/02: Water fad is bottled nonsense 06/11/02: 06/07/02: He who brings menus deserves praise
06/04/02: Relish This! The World Trade Center Hot Dog Guy has been found
05/23/02: The return of the tight squeeze
05/15/02: A Little Too Spicy
05/10/02: Okay, start the movie already!
05/07/02: If you win the lottery, you may be out of luck
05/01/02: Driven nuts by drive-time cell phoners
04/16/02: Chats of a lifetime
04/10/02: This Pet Has a Tail to Tell
03/26/02: Hey, New York - Take a Haiku
03/21/02: Your 'victim,' is my 'survivor' is somebody else's 'hero'?
03/19/02: Terrorists, get out your No. 2 pencils
03/14/02: Tribute Has City Back at its Windows
03/06/02: Dumping Ted: Gray Day For the Baby Boomers
02/27/02: Sometimes, lying's the best policy
02/20/02: The Fad That Won't Fade Away
02/12/02: The smoking gun of white-collar crime is making some folks very happy
02/05/02: Exterminators are evolving, too
02/01/02: Don't suffer … do drugs
01/22/02: The Blue Light of Happiness
01/18/02: Marlboro's surprising gift to U.S.
01/08/02: Hospitals make me sick
01/02/02: Read-Aloud Resolutions
12/21/01: Nothing's Worse/Than Bad Verse
12/18/01: This Little Dog Bytes
12/13/01: Palm Pilot or Calendar? Paper Wins
12/07/01: The gift of 9/11
12/03/01: Altria Is Really Smokin'

© 2002, New York Daily News