Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review April 1, 2003 / 28 Adar II, 5763

Lenore Skenazy

Skenazy
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


Is that a poem
in your pocket?


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | NEW YORK As you are no doubt keenly aware, April is National Poetry Month.

To celebrate, our mayor will soon be carrying a favorite poem in his pocket.

Which poem? Which pocket? We can only conjecture. And while we're at it, we're conjecturing about everyone else's favorite ditties:

MAYOR BLOOMBERG

I take the subway, just like you!

Except I'm the mayor.

And a billionaire, too.

CHRISTIE WHITMAN

Whose woods these were, I think I know

But now they're part of Amoco.

GUY RITCHIE

There once was a gal named Madonna

Whom I promised to love, trust and honor

Then came "Swept Away"

And what can I say?

Now I'm feeling like Don with Ivana.

DONALD RUMSFELD

I like London, I hate France

Chirac can kiss my underpants.

RECOVERING CELEB

One day at a time? Okey-doke:

One day Xanax, next day coke.

CITY DWELLERS

George Pataki took an ax,

Gave the budget 40 whacks

When New Yorkers cried, "Screw you!"

He cut the funds for pre-K, too.

J.LO

I think that I shall never see

A poem as lovely as, well, me!

Poems are writ by dweebs like Frost

Who make in a year what my bracelet cost.

EMINEM

Kick my wife and curse my mom,

Win an Oscar. I'm da bomb!

JACKIE MASON

One fish, two fish, I'm so Jewish.

Dark fish, light fish. Bagel, whitefish.

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY

Roses are red, violets are blue

I'd disclose my location to someone like you.

MICHAEL JACKSON

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray you don't think I'm a creep

Just because there haps to be

A friend in feetsies next to me.

EMILY DICKINSON'S GREAT GREAT GREAT GRAND-NEPHEW

Because I could not stop for lunch,

It kindly stopped for me

Some dude gave me a coupon for

Free fries at Mickey D!

AL GORE

No regrets - or maybe one:

All the things I would have done.

No regrets except o ne more:

Taxcutsjobsgonedeadtreeswar.

JOAN RIVERS

Can we talk? I'd like to but

The surgeon stretched my jawbone shut.

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.




JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.

Up

03/26/03: The view from here --- powerless
03/24/03: Old soldiers never lie
03/18/03: May you choke on your mustache
02/28/03: Iraq needs a dose of reality (TV)
02/20/03: Call the kids the Reheated Generation
02/04/03: Welcome to Mourning TV
01/29/03: Sipping Starbucks on the sly
01/24/03: Golden arches are falling
01/14/03: Designs soar, critics fall flat
01/10/03: Don't smile for the camera
01/06/03: Have they no shame!? My sanity meter is running out
12/31/02: You know, like, resolved
12/23/02: Warning: Art ahead
12/05/02: Hey, boss! Can you hear me now?
12/03/02: Raw & steamy food fight
11/19/02: The new power tie
11/12/02: Googling be gone
11/05/02: Time waits for no blender
10/28/02: As debate rages about 9-11 memorial, a perfect one quietly appears
10/24/02: Your health, their wealth
10/10/02: Sometimes death opens up the door
09/24/02: Reality hits Mickey
09/19/02: Should you report me to the authorities?
09/12/02: War and love: Romance rises from the ashes
08/30/02: If beer is good, spinoffs are great
08/13/02: Braving difficult steps
08/08/02: Can't trust those tourists!
08/02/02: Enquiring about the 'stars'? I already know
07/26/02: Reunions that defy history
07/18/02: Where'd all the logos go?
07/12/02: He's why Boomers leap and twist
07/09/02: Hold on, my molar's ringing
06/25/02: Pitching the fish fork
06/11/02: Water fad is bottled nonsense 06/11/02: 06/07/02: He who brings menus deserves praise
06/04/02: Relish This! The World Trade Center Hot Dog Guy has been found
05/23/02: The return of the tight squeeze
05/15/02: A Little Too Spicy
05/10/02: Okay, start the movie already!
05/07/02: If you win the lottery, you may be out of luck
05/01/02: Driven nuts by drive-time cell phoners
04/16/02: Chats of a lifetime
04/10/02: This Pet Has a Tail to Tell
03/26/02: Hey, New York - Take a Haiku
03/21/02: Your 'victim,' is my 'survivor' is somebody else's 'hero'?
03/19/02: Terrorists, get out your No. 2 pencils
03/14/02: Tribute Has City Back at its Windows
03/06/02: Dumping Ted: Gray Day For the Baby Boomers
02/27/02: Sometimes, lying's the best policy
02/20/02: The Fad That Won't Fade Away
02/12/02: The smoking gun of white-collar crime is making some folks very happy
02/05/02: Exterminators are evolving, too
02/01/02: Don't suffer do drugs
01/22/02: The Blue Light of Happiness
01/18/02: Marlboro's surprising gift to U.S.
01/08/02: Hospitals make me sick
01/02/02: Read-Aloud Resolutions
12/21/01: Nothing's Worse/Than Bad Verse
12/18/01: This Little Dog Bytes
12/13/01: Palm Pilot or Calendar? Paper Wins
12/07/01: The gift of 9/11
12/03/01: Altria Is Really Smokin'

© 2002, New York Daily News