Jewish World Review April 1, 2003 / 28 Adar II, 5763
Lenore Skenazy
Is that a poem in your pocket?
http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com |
NEW YORK As you are no doubt keenly aware, April is National Poetry Month. To celebrate, our mayor will soon be carrying a favorite poem in his pocket.
Which poem? Which pocket? We can only conjecture. And while we're at it, we're conjecturing about everyone else's favorite ditties:
MAYOR BLOOMBERG
I take the subway, just like you!
Except I'm the mayor.
And a billionaire, too.
CHRISTIE WHITMAN
Whose woods these were, I think I know
But now they're part of Amoco.
GUY RITCHIE
There once was a gal named Madonna
Whom I promised to love, trust and honor
Then came "Swept Away"
And what can I say?
Now I'm feeling like Don with Ivana.
DONALD RUMSFELD
I like London, I hate France
Chirac can kiss my underpants.
RECOVERING CELEB
One day at a time? Okey-doke:
One day Xanax, next day coke.
CITY DWELLERS
George Pataki took an ax,
Gave the budget 40 whacks
When New Yorkers cried, "Screw you!"
He cut the funds for pre-K, too.
J.LO
I think that I shall never see
A poem as lovely as, well, me!
Poems are writ by dweebs like Frost
Who make in a year what my bracelet cost.
EMINEM
Kick my wife and curse my mom,
Win an Oscar. I'm da bomb!
JACKIE MASON
One fish, two fish, I'm so Jewish.
Dark fish, light fish. Bagel, whitefish.
VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY
Roses are red, violets are blue
I'd disclose my location to someone like you.
MICHAEL JACKSON
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray you don't think I'm a creep
Just because there haps to be
A friend in feetsies next to me.
EMILY DICKINSON'S GREAT GREAT GREAT GRAND-NEPHEW
Because I could not stop for lunch,
It kindly stopped for me
Some dude gave me a coupon for
Free fries at Mickey D!
AL GORE
No regrets - or maybe one:
All the things I would have done.
No regrets except o
ne more:
Taxcutsjobsgonedeadtreeswar.
JOAN RIVERS
Can we talk? I'd like to but
The surgeon stretched my jawbone shut.
Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.
JWR contributor Lenore Skenazy is a columnist for The New York Daily News. Comment by clicking here.
03/26/03: The view from here --- powerless
03/24/03: Old soldiers never lie
03/18/03: May you choke on your mustache
02/28/03: Iraq needs a dose of reality (TV)
02/20/03: Call the kids the Reheated Generation
02/04/03: Welcome to Mourning TV
01/29/03: Sipping Starbucks on the sly
01/24/03: Golden arches are falling
01/14/03: Designs soar, critics fall flat
01/10/03: Don't smile for the camera
01/06/03: Have they no shame!? My sanity meter is running out
12/31/02: You know, like, resolved
12/23/02: Warning: Art ahead
12/05/02: Hey, boss! Can you hear me now?
12/03/02: Raw & steamy food fight
11/19/02: The new power tie
11/12/02: Googling be gone
11/05/02: Time waits for no blender
10/28/02: As debate rages about 9-11 memorial, a perfect one quietly appears
10/24/02: Your health, their wealth
10/10/02: Sometimes death opens up the door
09/24/02: Reality hits Mickey
09/19/02: Should you report me to the authorities?
09/12/02: War and love: Romance rises from the ashes
08/30/02: If beer is good, spinoffs are great
08/13/02: Braving difficult steps
08/08/02: Can't trust those tourists!
08/02/02: Enquiring about the 'stars'? I already know
07/26/02: Reunions that defy history
07/18/02: Where'd all the logos go?
07/12/02: He's why Boomers leap and twist
07/09/02: Hold on, my molar's ringing
06/25/02: Pitching the fish fork
06/11/02: Water fad is bottled nonsense 06/11/02:
06/07/02: He who brings menus deserves praise
06/04/02: Relish This! The World Trade Center Hot Dog Guy has been found
05/23/02: The return of the tight squeeze
05/15/02: A Little Too Spicy
05/10/02: Okay, start the movie already!
05/07/02: If you win the lottery, you may be out of luck
05/01/02: Driven nuts by drive-time cell phoners
04/16/02: Chats of a lifetime
04/10/02: This Pet Has a Tail to Tell
03/26/02: Hey, New York - Take a Haiku
03/21/02: Your 'victim,' is my 'survivor' is somebody else's 'hero'?
03/19/02: Terrorists, get out your No. 2 pencils
03/14/02: Tribute Has City Back at its Windows
03/06/02: Dumping Ted: Gray Day For the Baby Boomers
02/27/02: Sometimes, lying's the best policy
02/20/02: The Fad That Won't Fade Away
02/12/02: The smoking gun of white-collar crime is making some folks very happy
02/05/02: Exterminators are evolving, too
02/01/02: Don't suffer … do drugs
01/22/02: The Blue Light of Happiness
01/18/02: Marlboro's surprising gift to U.S.
01/08/02: Hospitals make me sick
01/02/02: Read-Aloud Resolutions
12/21/01: Nothing's Worse/Than Bad Verse
12/18/01: This Little Dog Bytes
12/13/01: Palm Pilot or Calendar? Paper Wins
12/07/01: The gift of 9/11
12/03/01: Altria Is Really Smokin'
© 2002, New York Daily News
|