Jewish World Review Feb. 21, 2003 / 19 Adar I, 5763
Are Australians taking over the movie industry? Here's a partial list:
Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Hugh Jackman, Guy Pierce,
Anthony LaPaglia, Cate Blanchett, Judy Davis, Bryan Brown, Heath Ledger,
Rachel Griffiths, Geoffrey Rush, Dominic Purcell, Eric Bana, and on and
on --- not to mention Paul Hogan, who at least knows how to talk like an
Australian. Those other Australians sound more American than I do. I
thought Anthony LaPaglia was from Brooklyn.
Why have they all come here? I have a theory.
Along with England and Hawaii, Australia is the destination of choice
for movies and teevee shows when they run out of creative steam and
decide to go for an exotic location: The Brady Bunch Down Under! My
theory is that so many American movies and teevee shows have gone Down
Under, there's no work for Australians any more. So they all moved here.
You'd think that KANGAROO JACK might have turned that situation around.
It was one of those movies that set my teeth on edge just by looking at
the poster. And that was before I saw the trailers, which depicted the
marsupial as some kind of repulsive rappin' freak of nature. I don't
believe I've held a movie in such contempt since the BIG CHILL. The
reviews were pretty much unanimous about KANGAROO JACK: A more stupid
movie will probably never be made.
And yet people paid good money to see the darn thing. It was a hit,
But if rappin' kangaoos start showing up on Happy Meals, Australia's is
going to see an invasion of entertainment mongers with bad ideas, the
likes of which we have not seen since the most recent Martin Lawrence
movie. Martin Lawrence Down Under must be stopped.
The solution is simple. To save Australia, America's top Australian
movie stars must swear to boycott these movies. Stop them before they
make the hip hop koala movie, with his wacky platypus pal. You know they
will. Nicole, Mel, Russell. The fate of Oz is in your hands. G'day.
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JWR contributor Ian Shoales is the author of, among others, Not Wet Yet: An Anthology of Commentary. Comment by clicking here.
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© 2001, Ian Shoales