Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review Nov. 13, 2000/ 15 Mar-Cheshvan, 5761

Kathleen Parker

Kathleen Parker
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Wes Pruden
Debbie Schlussel
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


Eliminate popular vote -- at least in Palm Beach County

http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
HYSTERICS urging elimination of the Electoral College, which was conceived in part as a buffer against just such hysteria, are wading through the wrong swamp. Clearly, what we need to eliminate is the popular vote.

At least we should consider barring the popular vote in Palm Beach County, where more than 3,000 citizens say they accidentally voted for the wrong man (Patrick Buchanan instead of Al Gore) and 19,000 others voted for two presidential candidates.

The ballot -- which was created by a Democrat, circulated and approved by a Republican and published in a local newspaper in advance of the election -- apparently wasn't quite clear enough. Many voters say they realized (after the votes were counted) that they had punched the wrong hole.

I know just what they mean. I said the same thing upon exiting the SAT. I meant to blacken the space next to the correct answer not the wrong one. I'm still considering suing the Educational Testing Service for making those multiple-choice questions so darned tricky.

If eliminating the popular vote is too radical, we might consider some measure of voter qualification. I'm not recommending that we return to the days when property ownership was a prerequisite to suffrage. But surely there's some middle ground between supremacist, slave-owning, brute-colonizing, culture-confiscating, wife-owning, child-beating White Male Voters and morons?

Perhaps a voter IQ test is in order. We wouldn't ask tough questions such as, "How many people can serve as president of the United States at one time?"

Or even try to trick citizens with a nebulous "True/False" question: "Social Security is a federal program."

Rather we might administer a short quiz to determine whether voters have a clue. Even though the need for such a quiz has been amply demonstrated by the Palm Beach outcry, other supporting evidence abounds. Just this morning I was talking to a confident female voter who cast her ballot for George W. Bush because, she said, "I really liked the idea of a lockbox." (Is that the one that comes with the little pop-up ballerina?) Hello? Testing, one, two, testing.

A compassionate columnist, I'm willing to make adjustments for Palm Beach County voters, something similar to the drivers-license tests in which we ask drivers to identify the red, octagonal sign with the word "Stop" painted in large, white letters.

A sample question might look like this:

"When you see a black arrow next to your candidate's name, pointing toward an adjacent circle, what do you do?"

A. Punch a hole in the circle next to my candidate's name as designated by the pointing black arrow.

B. Punch a hole in the circle next to the guy's name I can't stand and wouldn't vote for in a million years.

C. Punch myself in the eye and sue the Election Commission for not warning me that sharp objects in the hands of idiots sometimes follow the path of least resistance.

D. Sue the state of Florida for allowing me to vote despite clear evidence that I'm not qualified.

The same ballot used in Palm Beach County, by the way, was presented to first and fourth-graders at Sockwell Elementary School in Bossier City, Louisiana, as an experiment. Not one of the 22 fourth-graders was confused. Only three of 19 first-graders picked Buchanan's circle instead of Gore's.

Anyone can understand the dismay of voters realizing that they had cast the wrong ballot, but mistakes happen. They're unfortunate and, yes, consequential. But Palm Beach County voters -- more than 400,000 of whom did manage to negotiate the ballots -- were not cheated, as Gore apologists insist.

Nor were they disenfranchised. Nor are they victims, except perhaps to the extent that they are participants in a grade-inflation culture that tolerates excuses for mistakes rather than insisting on competence in the arena and sportsmanship in defeat.


JWR contributor Kathleen Parker can be reached by clicking here.

Up

11/07/00: Lesser of 2 evils? It's more like the lesser of 2 lies
11/02/00: Latest Jones' saga exposes a big irony
10/31/00: Hate-crime legislation and anti-Bush ad are flawed
10/26/00: Taking it to the streets
10/23/00: Headlines blur fiasco of family
10/13/00: Forget polls: Bush passes turtle test
10/06/00: Feminism: A cup that's half full?
10/04/00: Election-year reality check: Abortion is here to stay
09/29/00: For Gore and Hollywood, the mirror has two faces
09/26/00: Oprahfication of presidential political: It's all about feelings
09/19/00: It's not subliminal: Hypocrisy of moral outrage is obvious
09/15/00: So wear, oh wear, are we headed?
09/11/00: Do Steinem's wedding bells sound feminist death knells?
09/08/00: Grounded in her fears about flying
08/31/00: Dudettes that don't
08/29/00: AlGore wants to be his own man -- does he know who that is?
08/21/00: Dems manufacture emotions at convention
08/17/00: Hollywood divine? AlGore is miscast
08/08/00:Outreach: Good strategy and long-run policy
08/04/00: A sharp look back at the Vietnam War
08/01/00: Bush's choice of grown-up Cheney is a stroke of genius
07/24/00: Fired up and grossed out over stupid Canadians
07/20/00: Lack of judgment --- our critical flaw
07/18/00: 'Progress' for women often a step back
07/11/00: School essay watchdogs cannibalize our children
07/06/00: Youths fear marriage --- blame boomers
06/28/00: Eminem might just have a point
06/21/00: Bridging the day-care divide
06/15/00: N.Y. baby case ends up with multiracial scrambled eggs
05/31/00: The war only time wins
05/25/00: The opposite of sex
05/18/00: World War II gave us our true heroes
05/11/00: Boy Crazy! stacks deck against guys
05/09/00: Finding out where the boys are
05/05/00: A born Ms. Leader -- Barbie for prez
04/25/00: From here to paternity
04/14/00: Boys should be boys, not viewed as criminals in training
04/11/00: Oh, for a standard of what is socially, morally acceptable
04/06/00: Womyn's Contempt for Commitment --- and the bastards it creates
04/04/00: Sue-happy American society is out of control
03/30/00: Duct-taped baby serves as warning
03/28/00: Stay-home parents know that their kids need them
03/24/00: No 'Great Expectations' when schools shun the classics
03/21/00: It's common sense to restrict Internet usage in libraries
03/17/00: You want to be just a mom? For shame!
03/14/00: Colonoscopy: Important, but bad TV
03/10/00: I made a mistake about trigger-locks
03/08/00: After this school shooting, no easy target for our contempt
03/03/00: Car crash helps bridge our divide
02/28/00: Nasty politics? Americans like it down, dirty
02/14/00: College testing via Lego-building -- yeah, right
02/02/00: Bubba should spare us phony love theatrics
01/26/00: What sets off Those Who Speak for Women
01/13/00: Fools in love: Premarital counseling could help school kids
01/11/00: Who funds these studies!?
12/29/99: Grandparents' rights impinge on family autonomy
12/13/99: When did fathers become fair game?
12/09/99: Don't be stupid about at-risk kids
12/07/99: Pokemon is no substitute for a father
12/02/99: Blaming the victim --- men
11/30/99: Baby-killer's story has less-than-Precious ending
11/23/99: Pendulum swings back toward discipline, responsibility
11/18/99: Put the babies first in this mighty mess
11/11/99: Skip the applause for this baby news
11/09/99: Gore could benefit from a secret in Wolf's clothing
11/03/99: Who needs 'birds and bees' when we have MTV?
11/01/99: Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say
10/26/99: Children's needs must take priority in divorce system
10/19/99: The deadbeat dad is less a scoundrel than an object of pity
10/15/99: Bullying boys ... and girls
10/12/99: Divorced dads ready to wage a revolution
10/04/99: A father's best gift? His presence
09/30/99: Sorry, guys, Faludi is no friend of yours
09/28/99: Science's new findings: Scary future for families
09/23/99: The great blurring of need and want
09/21/99:Focus on more than baby's first 3 years
09/16/99: Commentary from kids sheds no light on day-care debate
09/14/99: Fathers' group seeks to right inequities
09/09/99: Son now has a license to grow up
09/07/99: A slap in the face of domestic violence
09/01/99: No, ma'am: Legislation on manners misses the mark
08/26/99: For better boys, try a little tenderness
08/24/99:The ABC's of campaign questions
08/19/99: Male 'sluts'
08/11/99: Language doesn't excuse bad behavior
08/09/99: When justice delayed is still justice
08/03/99: Unemployment? Not in this profession
07/30/99: It's not about race -- it's about crack babies
07/22/99: Tragedy tells us what's important
07/19/99: Study denouncing fathers sends danger signals
07/15/99:'Happy marriage' belongs in the Dictionary of Oxymorons next to 'deliciously low-fat.'
07/11/99: 'Brother Man': An American demagogue in Paris
07/08/99: Only parents can fix broken families
07/06/99: America is home, sweet home
07/01/99: Tales out of Yuppiedom
06/28/99: Men aren't the only abusers
06/23/99: Is the entire country guzzling LSD punch?
06/20/99: The voice remains -- as always -- there beside me 06/16/99:Stating the obvious, a new growth industry
06/14/99: Calling for a cease-fire in the gender war
06/10/99: We owe children an apology

©1999, Tribune Media Services