Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review July 18, 2000/ 15 Tamuz, 5760

Kathleen Parker

Kathleen Parker
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Wes Pruden
Debbie Schlussel
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports


'Progress' for women
often a step back

http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
I DON'T OFTEN TRAVEL to Uganda for inspiration, but as a woman over, um, 35 and a mother of sons, I couldn't resist the story about a young Ugandan man who is seeking the hand of an older woman and would like a little dowry, if it wouldn't be too much trouble.

Meet Ahamadah Ntale, 25, a handsome scooter taxi driver recently featured in a Ugandan newspaper story with this headline: "Man hunts old woman to marry."

Like many of his American counterparts, Ntale is tired of the old ways: man begging marriage from demure lady-in-waiting; man paying dowry to woman's family; man in hock for eternity trying to support wives and children. It's over already.

All things being equal these days, why shouldn't the tables be turned? Not that Ntale is willing to accept any old woman. He requested in the newspaper story that his future wife be between 35 and 45, be AIDS-free, cough up some lucre to his parents, and that she love him.

He's asking an awful lot - love on top of money? - but apparently Uganda is rich in women willing to ante up. On the first day the article was published, Ntale got a call at 7 a.m. from a 38-year-old businesswoman. By evening, he'd received 193 calls. Within a week, more than 400 woman had called.

One offered 10 cows. The youngest was 27; the oldest 60. He disqualified the oldest, not because she was too old, but because they might be related. We have that problem in the South, too.

Ntale's nascent idea evolved from a childhood experience. Noticing that his sisters kept disappearing with strange men, he asked his mother why. She explained that the girls went off to marry, and that the men had paid for them. Ntale was troubled that under Ugandan tradition no woman would come along and pay for him.

All that's changing. Ntale has become something of a folk hero. Ugandan men, who are allowed multiple wives, are excited about the possibilities. Such riches! And women, recently liberated, are amused, if a tad confused, in the way recently liberated women often are. What a deal! We're equal now, so we get to support men! Such good fortune. Does this mean that women now can have multiple husbands? Well, no, that's not the Muslim way. Does this mean that men will clean house and raise the children? Well, who said anything about that? Does this mean that Ntale will have just one wife and be faithful to the woman who brought home the burger? Well, let's not get carried away.

It's a funny thing about equality, and every culture from America to Africa seems to get it wrong. What "equality" seems to mean time and again is that women get to behave more like men - while still behaving like women - while men get to continue just being men. With extra cows.

If I were a teller of truths, I might be tempted to say something ice-breaking, such as: "Equality isn't really possible until men get pregnant and give birth, which isn't going to happen, so women really stepped in it when they fell into formation with the guys and pretended that now, whoa, they were equal to men. And of course in their hearts they knew they weren't, but it was too late - just like it will be for that Ugandan woman when Ntale takes off on his scooter and she's paying the bills, raising babies and doesn't even have her cows anymore."

But that's Uganda and not here, thank goodness.


JWR contributor Kathleen Parker can be reached by clicking here.

Up

07/11/00: School essay watchdogs cannibalize our children
07/06/00: Youths fear marriage --- blame boomers
06/28/00: Eminem might just have a point
06/21/00: Bridging the day-care divide
06/15/00: N.Y. baby case ends up with multiracial scrambled eggs
05/31/00: The war only time wins
05/25/00: The opposite of sex
05/18/00: World War II gave us our true heroes
05/11/00: Boy Crazy! stacks deck against guys
05/09/00: Finding out where the boys are
05/05/00: A born Ms. Leader -- Barbie for prez
04/25/00: From here to paternity
04/14/00: Boys should be boys, not viewed as criminals in training
04/11/00: Oh, for a standard of what is socially, morally acceptable
04/06/00: Womyn's Contempt for Commitment --- and the bastards it creates
04/04/00: Sue-happy American society is out of control
03/30/00: Duct-taped baby serves as warning
03/28/00: Stay-home parents know that their kids need them
03/24/00: No 'Great Expectations' when schools shun the classics
03/21/00: It's common sense to restrict Internet usage in libraries
03/17/00: You want to be just a mom? For shame!
03/14/00: Colonoscopy: Important, but bad TV
03/10/00: I made a mistake about trigger-locks
03/08/00: After this school shooting, no easy target for our contempt
03/03/00: Car crash helps bridge our divide
02/28/00: Nasty politics? Americans like it down, dirty
02/14/00: College testing via Lego-building -- yeah, right
02/02/00: Bubba should spare us phony love theatrics
01/26/00: What sets off Those Who Speak for Women
01/13/00: Fools in love: Premarital counseling could help school kids
01/11/00: Who funds these studies!?
12/29/99: Grandparents' rights impinge on family autonomy
12/13/99: When did fathers become fair game?
12/09/99: Don't be stupid about at-risk kids
12/07/99: Pokemon is no substitute for a father
12/02/99: Blaming the victim --- men
11/30/99: Baby-killer's story has less-than-Precious ending
11/23/99: Pendulum swings back toward discipline, responsibility
11/18/99: Put the babies first in this mighty mess
11/11/99: Skip the applause for this baby news
11/09/99: Gore could benefit from a secret in Wolf's clothing
11/03/99: Who needs 'birds and bees' when we have MTV?
11/01/99: Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say
10/26/99: Children's needs must take priority in divorce system
10/19/99: The deadbeat dad is less a scoundrel than an object of pity
10/15/99: Bullying boys ... and girls
10/12/99: Divorced dads ready to wage a revolution
10/04/99: A father's best gift? His presence
09/30/99: Sorry, guys, Faludi is no friend of yours
09/28/99: Science's new findings: Scary future for families
09/23/99: The great blurring of need and want
09/21/99:Focus on more than baby's first 3 years
09/16/99: Commentary from kids sheds no light on day-care debate
09/14/99: Fathers' group seeks to right inequities
09/09/99: Son now has a license to grow up
09/07/99: A slap in the face of domestic violence
09/01/99: No, ma'am: Legislation on manners misses the mark
08/26/99: For better boys, try a little tenderness
08/24/99:The ABC's of campaign questions
08/19/99: Male 'sluts'
08/11/99: Language doesn't excuse bad behavior
08/09/99: When justice delayed is still justice
08/03/99: Unemployment? Not in this profession
07/30/99: It's not about race -- it's about crack babies
07/22/99: Tragedy tells us what's important
07/19/99: Study denouncing fathers sends danger signals
07/15/99:'Happy marriage' belongs in the Dictionary of Oxymorons next to 'deliciously low-fat.'
07/11/99: 'Brother Man': An American demagogue in Paris
07/08/99: Only parents can fix broken families
07/06/99: America is home, sweet home
07/01/99: Tales out of Yuppiedom
06/28/99: Men aren't the only abusers
06/23/99: Is the entire country guzzling LSD punch?
06/20/99: The voice remains -- as always -- there beside me 06/16/99:Stating the obvious, a new growth industry
06/14/99: Calling for a cease-fire in the gender war
06/10/99: We owe children an apology

©1999, Tribune Media Services