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Jewish World Review Nov. 2, 2000/ 3 Mar-Cheshvan, 5761

Kathleen Parker

Kathleen Parker
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Consumer Reports


Latest Jones' saga
exposes a big irony

http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
SHE'S BA-AAACK. Indeed, Paula Corbin Jones -- American Woman's most embarrassing little sister -- won't go away. Like a hubristic poltergeist, her bruised spirit keeps surfacing, albeit seasonably, to haunt and taunt our recovering national pride.

This time, the renovated Jones appears "exposed" in the November issue of Penthouse Magazine. Answering once and for all the question that plagued a nation -- "How could he? -- Jones shows us what she's got.

Clintonesquely, she says she did it for her children. And, well, okay, maybe a little bit for the money. And so what? A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. Among the things a woman can do, whether or not she's gotta, is change her mind.

In fact, Jones did change her mind since a few months ago when she declared with faux-moral outrage -- the sort Scarlet O'Hara was known to muster when Rhett suggested that she what she really needed was a big ol' manly kiss -- that she'd nevah, nevah pose for a men's magazine.

That she changed her mind is hardly cause for superciliousness. After all, she's a woman and it was (there's that word again) a "choice." Being propositioned in a hotel room by an allegedly unzipped governor was, by contrast, nota choice.

"I am an adult woman and made the choice to do so," Jones, 34, told Larry King during a recent appearance. "I thought it was the best thing to do for me and my children."

Her children are her two sons, who doubtless will be proud of their mother's photo spread. It's every boy's dream, really: Mom, Playmate of the Moment.

When shown a tape of her earlier nevah, nevah resolution, Jones was puckish: "I meant it at the time, but I changed my mind," she said. "Any woman, anybody in the world, has the right to change her mind."

Jones changed her mind, of course, when the money she'd hoped to earn through her lawsuit failed to materialize in the numbers she'd been promised by lawyers and Clinton-haters. Instead of the $2 million she sought, Jones settled for $870,000 and, alas, no apology from the man who so wounded her self-esteem and, did I mention, her good reputation?

By the time lawyers and new-best-friends took their cuts, little was left for Jones and her then-husband. Her take was less than one-fifth of the total, Jones told Penthouse, and now she's faced with a $20,000 debt to the Internal Revenue Service while trying to raise two children alone.

Clearly the woman had no choice but to strip to the bare essentials and give the world a close-up glimpse of presidential temptation.

Besides, as Jones told King, she hasn't worked in ten years. How is she supposed to send her kids to college?

Getting a job does spring to mind -- and doing voice-overs for Minnie Mouse can't be ruled out -- but posing nude is more cost-effective and less time-consuming.

I'm sure she'll come up with some clever explanation for her boys about how she had to pose nude for a salacious men's magazine in order to cover expenses incurred while suing the president of the United States for suggesting in a hotel room that she might be available for, oh, never mind. In matters of irony, I defer to Paula.

Meanwhile, one can only hope that Jones was truthful when she said on Larry King Live that posing for Penthouse was "a once-in-a-lifetime thing."


JWR contributor Kathleen Parker can be reached by clicking here.

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