Jewish World Review Nov. 2, 2000/ 3 Mar-Cheshvan, 5761
Latest Jones' saga
SHE'S BA-AAACK. Indeed, Paula Corbin Jones -- American
Woman's most embarrassing little sister -- won't go
away. Like a hubristic poltergeist, her bruised spirit keeps
surfacing, albeit seasonably, to haunt and taunt our
recovering national pride.
This time, the renovated Jones appears "exposed" in the
November issue of Penthouse Magazine. Answering
once and for all the question that plagued a nation --
"How could he? -- Jones shows us what she's got.
Clintonesquely, she says she did it for her children. And,
well, okay, maybe a little bit for the money. And so what?
A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. Among
the things a woman can do, whether or not she's gotta, is
change her mind.
In fact, Jones did change her mind since a few months
ago when she declared with faux-moral outrage -- the
sort Scarlet O'Hara was known to muster when Rhett
suggested that she what she really needed was a big ol'
manly kiss -- that she'd nevah, nevah pose for a men's
That she changed her mind is hardly cause for
superciliousness. After all, she's a woman and it was
(there's that word again) a "choice." Being propositioned
in a hotel room by an allegedly unzipped governor was, by
contrast, nota choice.
"I am an adult woman and made the choice to do so,"
Jones, 34, told Larry King during a recent appearance. "I
thought it was the best thing to do for me and my
Her children are her two sons, who doubtless will be
proud of their mother's photo spread. It's every boy's
dream, really: Mom, Playmate of the Moment.
When shown a tape of her earlier nevah, nevah
resolution, Jones was puckish: "I meant it at the time, but
I changed my mind," she said. "Any woman, anybody in
the world, has the right to change her mind."
Jones changed her mind, of course, when the money
she'd hoped to earn through her lawsuit failed to
materialize in the numbers she'd been promised by
lawyers and Clinton-haters. Instead of the $2 million she
sought, Jones settled for $870,000 and, alas, no apology
from the man who so wounded her self-esteem and, did I
mention, her good reputation?
By the time lawyers and new-best-friends took their cuts,
little was left for Jones and her then-husband. Her take
was less than one-fifth of the total, Jones told Penthouse,
and now she's faced with a $20,000 debt to the Internal
Revenue Service while trying to raise two children alone.
Clearly the woman had no choice but to strip to the bare
essentials and give the world a close-up glimpse of
Besides, as Jones told King, she hasn't worked in ten
years. How is she supposed to send her kids to college?
Getting a job does spring to mind -- and doing voice-overs
for Minnie Mouse can't be ruled out -- but posing nude is
more cost-effective and less time-consuming.
I'm sure she'll come up with some clever explanation for
her boys about how she had to pose nude for a salacious
men's magazine in order to cover expenses incurred
while suing the president of the United States for
suggesting in a hotel room that she might be available for,
oh, never mind. In matters of irony, I defer to Paula.
Meanwhile, one can only hope that Jones was truthful
when she said on Larry King Live that posing for
Penthouse was "a once-in-a-lifetime
JWR contributor Kathleen Parker can be reached by clicking here.
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