Jewish World Review June 14, 1999 /31 Sivan 5759
in the gender war
My argument has been that women and men today have equal opportunities, if not always equal outcomes, which often is more a function of will than way. My motivation has come from my wish for a level playing field for the boys, as well as the girls, in my life. My reasoning has been that in a gender war, no one wins.
The evidence for a cease-fire is explicit and pervasive. Yet, despite my selfless and, I dare say, noble attempts to convince readers, a 600-word essay doesn't permit space to adequately define such evidence. I can only offer a few random facts and anecdotes to suggest a worthy thought or two.
A book is what we need, I've always thought. A once-and-for-all volume to explain how we got here; why feminism has splintered into factions that antagonize even its own constituents; why our culture, pulled in so many directions, has evolved into a Chilean landscape of lopsided opportunity and hostile gender relations.
Alas, I didn't write it, but Cathy Young -- my fellow JWR columnist, Cato Institute research associate and co-founder and vice-president of the Women's Freedom Network -- did. Pithily titled Ceasefire! Why Women and Men Must Join Forces to Achieve True Equality, Young's book is so good and so important that I'm temporarily shelving my writer's instinct -- defined by author Anne Lamott as the urgent wish that all other writers "stink" -- in order to provide this public service.
Young's work is scrupulously researched, smoothly written and bears the imprimatur of truth. A self-proclaimed "dissident feminist" born in Russia, Young has no agenda nor ax to grind. Honesty underscores her evolution from a fledgling feminist -- who came to this country at 17, delighted by a culture that celebrated female independence and men pushing strollers -- to a mature adult driven by human rather than gender interests.
Young traces her faded idealism from her college years through the '80s when fringe feminism became mainstream and equality for women began to mean inequities for men. Like the many women and men for whom she speaks, Young became part of a new brand of feminism that stresses true equality. No more victims; no more demons.
We're just people, she says, as she neatly disproves the myths that have defined feminism in the '90s. In fact, she says:
I couldn't have said it better, though, I confess, I wish I had. And, yes, I further confess that I'd be happier if Young had stayed in Russia, giving me a little more time to write this book myself. I am not, however, at all bothered that in writing an entire book about the gender wars, about which I've written extensively for, oh, about 10 years, Young managed to avoid mentioning me even once.
Cease-fires, after all, are about surrendering selfish interests to the greater good. In the spirit of which, I'm hauling out my white flag and plan to hoist it just as soon as my husband finishes ironing
06/10/99:We owe children an apology