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Jewish World Review August 22, 2000 / 21 Menachem-Av, 5760

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
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Leaks -- THE BIG NEWS on the last day of the Democratic Convention was the revelation that Independent Council Robert Ray has impaneled a new grand jury to examine evidence that Bill Clinton broke the law. Actually that wasn’t the really big news. The REALLY, REALLY big news was that this information was LEAKED to the press on the very night that Vice President Gore was to deliver what every pundit called, “the most important speech of his life.” How horrible! Poor Al.

Naturally, the talking heads speculated that the leak was politically motivated on the part of the opposition. They winked and intimated that the infamous “vast right-wing conspiracy” was at it again. CBS News Anchor Dan Rather even wrote an entire column about it on the CBS web page. What we have here is another example of, in the words of Mr. Rather, “a carefully orchestrated, politically motivated leak.” Well, Mr. Rather may be correct --- but if he is, then the political maneuvering is coming from the left not the right!

The following day, federal Judge Richard Cudahy issued a statement that said he “had been the inadvertent source of the information ... with apologies to all concerned.” It should noted that Judge Cudahy was appointed by a Democratic president -- President Carter in 1979.

So much for Mr. Rather’s “low blow from the political opposition” scenario.

Unfortunately, due to all the hoopla that day, there was ANOTHER LEAK that didn’t get any media attention at all. A confidential list of Gore campaign slogans created and then discarded by Gore strategists has surfaced. This list, compiled from notes taken during confidential strategic planning meetings held by Gore staffers over the past few months, offers interesting insight into the political thinking that goes on behind the scenes of a campaign.

In the spirit of the first amendment and the freedom of the press to do whatever the heck it wants, I take great pride in sharing these Gore campaign slogans with you now.

Remember these were the discards.

“Al Gore -- He’ll try not to screw things up too much!”

“Al Gore -- His friends like him and his family loves him, too.”

“Al Gore -- Principled fighter--no low blows.”

“Al Gore -- Inventor of campaign slogans”

“Al Gore -- Building a bridge to the Sixties!”

“Al Gore -- Wanna make something of it?”

“Al Gore -- A Hillbilly With Integrity”

“Al Gore -- Not just a new democrat, he’s new and improved”

“Al Gore -- Some of his best friends are Jewish”

“Al Gore -- I’m my own man...just ask my daughter”

“Al Gore -- He fixed his teeth, now he’ll work on America”

The slogan they decided to go with is, “Al Gore -- He Will Fight For You!” which at best sounds like a promo for a local television news ombudsman, and at worst sounds like a line out of a TV commercial for a lawyer.

Here are some discarded campaign slogans for Gore and Lieberman together:

“Gore and Lieberman -- We’re fighting to maintain the status quo.”

“Gore and Lieberman -- Dull and Duller”

“Gore and Lieberman -- Try a cracker with cream cheese”

“Gore And Lieberman -- So how bad could we be?

“Gore and Lieberman -- We are not a brokerage house, law firm or an ad agency”

“Gore and Lieberman -- Entitlements, Quotas, and Catering--right to your door”

“Gore and Lieberman -- Don’t start with us, or we’ll turn this country around right now and go home!”

And the winning Gore/Lieberman slogan, thanks to Jessie Jackson’s speech at the convention is:

“Vote ‘The Dream team’ and stay out da Bushes!”

It may not have quite the ring of “If the glove don’t fit, you must acquit,” but what the heck.

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking here.


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© 2000, Greg Crosby