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Jewish World Review Jan. 25, 2000 /18 Shevat, 5760

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
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I’d Like To Thank
All The Little People -- NOW THAT THE HOLIDAYS and Y2K madness are at last behind us, it’s time to turn our national attention to something far more serious and significant -- no, not the presidential elections, I’m talking about the annual show business awards ceremonies.

That’s right, ‘tis the season for the world to watch as the media focuses on performers giving other performers awards, the theater owners giving performers awards, the general public giving performers awards, the press giving performers awards, political lobby groups giving performers awards, and the government giving performers awards.

Is there any other profession or endeavor that garners so many awards and accolades as does the entertainment industry? How many awards are given out to fire fighters? Or to paramedics? Or to nurses? Where are the statuettes honoring the best brain surgeon of the year? Or the best clergyman? I don’t see many award shows that honor the best police officer, or the best parents.

Speaking of people who win lots of awards, have you heard the latest on Barbra Streisand? Recently Miss Streisand announced that she will never again give another concert. (Seems to me we’ve heard this song before.) Never mind that her millennium New Year’s Eve concert in Las Vegas took in a total of $14,694,750, an all-time box-office record for a single concert. Following that appearance, Streisand told TV Guide “I don’t like performing. I feel like I’m in a beauty pageant, like I’m strutting around onstage.”


And the winner of this year’s “Least Grateful to her Fans Award” goes to Miss Barbra Streisand.

Then Streisand went on to say that over the years the media and celebrity rumors have added to her frustrations about taking the stage. “They’re making me into a diva, and I’m like this normal person.” WHAT?? IS SHE KIDDING US??

Number one, WHO made her a diva? Who was it that pushed this poor helpless kid from Brooklyn into show business against her will and forced her to become an international celebrity? Was it the evil media? Was it the phantom empire? Perhaps it was the vast right-wing conspiracy.

Number two, I’ve got news for Barbra -- she IS a diva.

Number three, I’ve got more news for Barbra, she’s NOT a normal person. Let me count the ways:

  • How many normal people become major forces in the entertainment industry?

  • How many normal people have slept in the White House?

  • How many normal people have the power, influence and connections to speak to the President of the United States at a moment’s notice?

  • How many normal people are able to stand up and speak their mind on any political or social cause and get world-wide media coverage on it?

  • How many normal people own so much beach front real estate in Malibu that they can afford to give away dozens, maybe hundreds of acres of it to the government in order to establish an “environmental research center?”

  • How many normal people hold an auction (just to unload some of the stuff they don’t want anymore) and take in millions of dollars?

To paraphrase President Clinton, maybe it depends on what your definition of “normal” is?

So the winner of this year’s “I Haven’t A Clue Award” also goes to Barbra Streisand -- just a normal actress, singer, director, producer, political activist and multimillionaire.

Now, will you people please let her alone?

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. You may contact him by clicking here.


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© 2000, Greg Crosby