Jewish World Review May 6, 2003 / 4 Iyar, 5763

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Consumer Reports


Failure to Find Saddam Proves He Never Existed

http://www.jewishworldreview.com | Six weeks after the invasion of Iraq, Pentagon officials are quietly beginning to acknowledge that their failure to find Saddam Hussein may be proof that the Iraqi leader never existed.

"We hate to admit it," said one unnamed official, "One of our main reasons for going in there was regime change. You know...overthrow a brutal dictator who tortured his own people. But at this point, we're not sure there ever was a Saddam Hussein. After all, if we don't have him dead or alive...who's to say?"

The military official said that the statues, murals and videos of Saddam Hussein are "circumstantial evidence which don't prove anything."

"I try to look on the bright side," he added. "Maybe we'll luck out and find a few chemical weapons so the war won't have been a total waste."

Experts agree that evidence of actual atrocities against Iraqis lacks the news value that potential atrocities against Westerners would have.



JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website ScrappleFace.com, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.

Up

05/01/03: Clinton still humbly serving his country
04/29/03: Hillary Clinton Memoir Tops Harry Potter
04/28/03: Coalition Hires British Paper to Dig for Evidence
04/22/03: NOW Defends Scott Peterson's Right to Choose
04/15/03: Shroud of CNN Missing from Baghdad Museum
04/14/03: Pelosi praises U.S. troops for defending immorality
04/11/03: Chirac Apologizes for Applauding Fall of Saddam
04/07/03: United Nations Holds 'Grand Re-Opening' Event
04/07/03:Chemical agent found at Iraqi Information Ministry
04/04/03: War Provides Terrorists Long-Awaited Motive
04/01/03: Lieberman won't promote gay marriage on Sabbath
03/31/03: Lennon joins dead celebs opposed to war
03/28/03: New War Show Lets Audience Call Shots
03/26/03: U.S. offers Iraq Russian-made equipment
03/24/03: Decapitation attack on 'peace movement' succeeds
03/20/03: Gulf War, a golf war? U.S. presses to end war before Masters Tourney
03/19/03: France proposes using metric hours for ultimatum
03/18/03: Airport screeners halt Hussein exodus
03/17/03: Encryption experts work to decipher Kaptur comment
03/14/03: U.S. to Return Statue of Liberty to France
03/13/03: CIA Leaks Again: Shhh! Don't tell bin Laden
03/12/03: "We're damaging these homes and vehicles as a form of political speech"
03/11/03: Bush caves in to Russian and French veto
03/07/03: Speechless: U.N. delegates await translation of Bush remarks
03/06/03: Moseley-Braun Drops Hyphen, Hopes for Sponsor Deal
03/05/03: Bush Admits to Belafonte's 'Possessed of Evil' Charge
03/04/03: Powell continues 'saber rattling' in Pakistan interview
03/03/03: Daschle demands release of top al Qaeda operative
02/28/03: Rather to interview prez on same terms as Saddam
02/27/03: U.S. accepts Saddam's latest proposal
02/26/03: 'Win Without War' releases new talking points
02/25/03: Blix orders Iraq to destroy 'human shields'
02/24/03: Secret U.S. Plan for Cyber-War to Feature Windows XP
02/21/03: Gephardt insists he's really running for President
02/20/03: French President changes name to 'Chiraq'
02/19/03: Chirac offers new EU members 'Freedom of Silence'
02/18/03: Meteorologist Fired for "Positive" Snow Report

© 2003, Scott Ott