Jewish World Review April 28, 2003 / 26 Nisan, 5763

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Coalition Hires British Paper to Dig for Evidence

http://www.jewishworldreview.com | The U.S. and British military intelligence services, overworked and understaffed, have contracted with British newspapers to dig through Iraqi government buildings in search of a link between al Qaeda and the regime of Saddam Hussein.

A reporter for The Telegraph, Inigo Gilmore (possibly a code name), has been given free reign, and a small stipend, to snoop through the Mukhabarat, Iraq's intelligence service. There the deputized reporter-spy found the first damning evidence of a direct connection between the former Iraqi regime and associates of Usama bin Laden.

The folder, containing whited-out references to Mr. bin Laden, was found lying in the rubble in one of the rooms of the bombed out Mukhabarat. Crime scene reporters from The Telegraph carefully removed the dried residue of Liquid Paper to reveal the sensational evidence.

Meanwhile The Sunday Times, carrying out its freelance espionage in the Iraqi Foreign Ministry building, discovered that France was giving regular reports to Baghdad on its dealings with the U.S..

"We could have sent our own agents in there," said U.S. Director of Central Intelligence George Tenet, "but we're so busy this time of year. Anyway, the Brit reporters are naturally curious and we always find out quickly what they've learned since they publish it in the paper and on the web. We're hoping to get a first-hand look at those latest documents pretty soon."

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that U.S. troops at first thought the reporters in government buildings were looters, and "we almost shot the little varmints." But when the journalists showed their "Temporary Deputy Agent" cards, they were allowed to carry on their intelligence investigations.



JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website ScrappleFace.com, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.

Up

04/22/03: NOW Defends Scott Peterson's Right to Choose
04/15/03: Shroud of CNN Missing from Baghdad Museum
04/14/03: Pelosi praises U.S. troops for defending immorality
04/11/03: Chirac Apologizes for Applauding Fall of Saddam
04/07/03: United Nations Holds 'Grand Re-Opening' Event
04/07/03:Chemical agent found at Iraqi Information Ministry
04/04/03: War Provides Terrorists Long-Awaited Motive
04/01/03: Lieberman won't promote gay marriage on Sabbath
03/31/03: Lennon joins dead celebs opposed to war
03/28/03: New War Show Lets Audience Call Shots
03/26/03: U.S. offers Iraq Russian-made equipment
03/24/03: Decapitation attack on 'peace movement' succeeds
03/20/03: Gulf War, a golf war? U.S. presses to end war before Masters Tourney
03/19/03: France proposes using metric hours for ultimatum
03/18/03: Airport screeners halt Hussein exodus
03/17/03: Encryption experts work to decipher Kaptur comment
03/14/03: U.S. to Return Statue of Liberty to France
03/13/03: CIA Leaks Again: Shhh! Don't tell bin Laden
03/12/03: "We're damaging these homes and vehicles as a form of political speech"
03/11/03: Bush caves in to Russian and French veto
03/07/03: Speechless: U.N. delegates await translation of Bush remarks
03/06/03: Moseley-Braun Drops Hyphen, Hopes for Sponsor Deal
03/05/03: Bush Admits to Belafonte's 'Possessed of Evil' Charge
03/04/03: Powell continues 'saber rattling' in Pakistan interview
03/03/03: Daschle demands release of top al Qaeda operative
02/28/03: Rather to interview prez on same terms as Saddam
02/27/03: U.S. accepts Saddam's latest proposal
02/26/03: 'Win Without War' releases new talking points
02/25/03: Blix orders Iraq to destroy 'human shields'
02/24/03: Secret U.S. Plan for Cyber-War to Feature Windows XP
02/21/03: Gephardt insists he's really running for President
02/20/03: French President changes name to 'Chiraq'
02/19/03: Chirac offers new EU members 'Freedom of Silence'
02/18/03: Meteorologist Fired for "Positive" Snow Report

© 2003, Scott Ott