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Decapitation attack on 'peace movement' succeeds

http://www.jewishworldreview.com | U.S. officials don't know when, or how it happened, but intelligence in the field indicates that an apparent 'decapitation attack' on the peace movement succeeded.

"The anti-Bush protestors are wandering about in clusters, shouting a variety of unrelated messages," said an unnamed Pentagon source. "It's clear that there is no cohesive leadership. The protestors look bedraggled and confused. We don't know when the decapitation attack happened, or who did it. Frankly, we've just been ignoring them and moving on to our objectives."

A spokesman for protestors in San Francisco rejected the Pentagon assertion.

"We're focused and determined to stop this war for oil and let the Iraqi people run their own democracy," the spokesman said.

"And we must seek justice for gays and do a re-count of the 2000 presidential election ballots and let women choose abortions and Bush is worse than Saddam and we still haven't captured bin Laden and what about North Korean nukes and world opinion is against us and get Israel out of Palestine and force the U.S. to obey Jacques Chirac and Kofi Annan, and...did I leave anything out? But anyway, that's our purpose and we will never waver...and, remember, all these protests are spontaneous. The next one is scheduled for tomorrow night at seven."

JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website ScrappleFace.com, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.

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