Jewish World Review March 28, 2003 / 24 Adar II, 5763


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Consumer Reports

New War Show Lets Audience Call Shots | When it comes to military strategy, studies show that the average TV viewer knows more than the best commanders in the field. That's why network executives are so excited about the potential for "The War Show."

The new multi-hour daily drama 'virtually embeds' TV viewers in military units in the field. Equipped with nothing more than satellite TV, a chalk board and a cell phone, the randomly-selected TV viewers will command legions of troops in battle against the enemy.

"We know this show will be a ratings hit," said an unnamed network spokesman. "Our only concern is that with ordinary TV viewers calling the shots, the war will be over too soon."

The War Show's producers acknowledge they may "throw a few curves" to make the show last longer. For example, "we may provide the enemy with detailed information about strategy, timing and troop movements, just to make it interesting."

Meanwhile, Academy-award winning filmmaker Michael Moore said his next documentary will chronicle how Iraq's lax gun-control laws have turned a peaceful Islamic republic into a cauldron of death and destruction.

The film, "Saddam and Me," will capture Mr. Moore's misadventures and witty banter as he attempts to ask the Iraqi president to ban personal ownership of firearms.

"Every nation that allows individuals to own guns will eventually wind up like Iraq," said Mr. Moore. "The gun culture encourages violence. Most Iraqis own personal firearms, and look what's happening over there. Children are dying. It's just like Columbine."

JWR contributor Scott Ott publishes the satirical website, whose motto is "News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher." Comment by clicking here.


03/26/03: U.S. offers Iraq Russian-made equipment
03/24/03: Decapitation attack on 'peace movement' succeeds
03/20/03: Gulf War, a golf war? U.S. presses to end war before Masters Tourney
03/19/03: France proposes using metric hours for ultimatum
03/18/03: Airport screeners halt Hussein exodus
03/17/03: Encryption experts work to decipher Kaptur comment
03/14/03: U.S. to Return Statue of Liberty to France
03/13/03: CIA Leaks Again: Shhh! Don't tell bin Laden
03/12/03: "We're damaging these homes and vehicles as a form of political speech"
03/11/03: Bush caves in to Russian and French veto
03/07/03: Speechless: U.N. delegates await translation of Bush remarks
03/06/03: Moseley-Braun Drops Hyphen, Hopes for Sponsor Deal
03/05/03: Bush Admits to Belafonte's 'Possessed of Evil' Charge
03/04/03: Powell continues 'saber rattling' in Pakistan interview
03/03/03: Daschle demands release of top al Qaeda operative
02/28/03: Rather to interview prez on same terms as Saddam
02/27/03: U.S. accepts Saddam's latest proposal
02/26/03: 'Win Without War' releases new talking points
02/25/03: Blix orders Iraq to destroy 'human shields'
02/24/03: Secret U.S. Plan for Cyber-War to Feature Windows XP
02/21/03: Gephardt insists he's really running for President
02/20/03: French President changes name to 'Chiraq'
02/19/03: Chirac offers new EU members 'Freedom of Silence'
02/18/03: Meteorologist Fired for "Positive" Snow Report

© 2003, Scott Ott