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My ex is ruining my kids' souls;
the mouth that won't stop
By Wendy Belzberg
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
When we were married to each other, my ex-husband and I were on the same page
about our children's Jewish education. Now that we are divorced, he refuses
to take the kids to shul when it is his weekend with them, refuses to pay for
their day school tuition, and has even taken them to non-kosher restaurants.
What's the point in being divorced if you are still allowing your husband to
push all of your buttons? Don't panic: Instead of having a lasting impact on
how your children feel about being Jewish, your husband's plan could backfire
and simply have a lasting impact on how they feel about him. It's hard to
predict without knowing how old your kids are.
If you are looking for a shoulder to cry on you've come to the right place.
But if I were you I'd be looking for justice. Your children need you to
defend and protect them. You may want to enlist the help of the rabbi whose
shul you attended together when you were married. Beyond that, I suggest you
hire a ferocious lawyer and a professional counselor.
* * *
Short of having your husband's jaw wired shut while he sleeps, it is
impossible for you to force him to lose weight. However, since he is behaving
like a child who does not know what is best for him, why not treat him as you
would a child? I reward my children with chocolates and toys. Instead of
promising your boy Lego or remote control cars, why not try an incentive
program using flattery and favors? Show your husband the extent of
your support by joining him in his deprivation: remove all sweets from the
house and forego desserts yourself when eating out. Or, if financial
incentives work best, agree on a dollar amount you will save for every pound
lost--and spend a multiple of that for every pound
11/21/00: Battling brothers; how to keep a nanny
11/08/00: OY VEY! my son wants to become Orthodox; kiddies should avoid family therapy
11/08/00: Rabbi v. therapist, grandparents bearing gifts, I want my son's teacher for a sister-in-law
10/24/00: Let him enlist?, 'My son the actor'? Eating with the 'help'
10/10/00:Tipsy teens, protective spouses, kosher common-sense
10/03/00: I'm not Jewish --- not that there's anything wrong with it; mezuza machlokes; when granddad has cancer
09/25/00: I can't take Rosh Hashanah! Something for nothing? My husband needs a dinner mate
09/18/00: 'My kids' Jewish education stinks', boyfriend bandit, and single mother not by choice
09/11/00: Bris brouhaha breaks my heart, LET ME SLEEP! --- and Why can't I hold a job?
09/05/00: Righteous anger, 'dissed' daughter --- and how not to make a match
08/21/00: When one spouse becomes more religious than the other; "But the cleaning lady is part of the family!"; Why He invented 9-month gestation periods
08/21/00: 'Fessing up to granny about abandoning one's people, non-kosher sis-in-law, and 'my niece is marrying a loser'
08/14/00: Marrying 'in' for questionable motivations; Should a do-gooder be reimbursed?
08/07/00: Communing with the clouds, betrothal, and banishing bosses
07/28/00: Small-city guys, self-centered siblings
07/21/00: When a child takes religion seriously, marriage obsession, and guests who just don't get it
07/14/00: Divorcing brother-in-law, uncampy kids, and a dot.comer who makes it big time
07/07/00: Hypocrites, reality checks, and the 'real estate challenged'
