Bris brouhaha breaks my heart, LET ME SLEEP! --- and Why can't I hold a job?
By Wendy Belzberg
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
Though my mother broke off all contact with her parents years ago, I get along very well with my grandparents. Eighteen months ago, when I gave birth to my first son, I decided
to invite my mother and my grandparents to the brit and let them sort it out for themselves.
My mother informed me that if her parents attended the brit, she would not. I told my
grandparents and suggested instead a separate celebration in synagogue after my mother left town (my rabbi’s suggestion). They passed on the whole thing.
Baby number two is due this summer. Any suggestions for alternate or better ways to
handle what will no doubt be a similarly sticky situation?
I suggest the same approach you outlined with the birth of your first son; only this time,
stick to it: Let them sort it out for themselves. Brit or baby-naming, call and invite your
mother and your grandparents. Then hang up. If you have to leave the phone off the
hook for the next week, so be it.
Your mother and grandparents should be the ones "trying to be good" so you can
celebrate the birth of your second child, anxiety and worry-free. It is your job to parent
your own children, not to parent your mother and your mother’s mother.
* * *
Didn't you read the job description before you took the job? Where's your
partner? And if you're the only one getting up, what do you need a partner
for? The way I do the math, you are entitled to at least 3 and a half full
nights of sleep a week--even if you have to sleep in another room.
There isn't a parent out there who isn't, or hasn't been, in the same boat as
you. Nursing, teething, night terrors, bed-wetting: This is a short list of
legitimate reasons your child may need comfort and company in the night. But
if your child cannot fall asleep without you in the bed next to him, or is up
several times a night for no apparent reason and cannot go back to sleep
without you, that is something different. First timers should consult their
pediatricians. The next stop for everyone may be "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber.
While I'm sympathetic, I know far too many well-rested women who have been
unable to conceive who would change places with you in a heartbeat.
* * *
You don't need me to solve this mystery: Go directly to any or all of your
former bosses. Now that you are no longer on their payroll, they shouldn't
have a problem being candid. Have you considered that you're just not cut
out to be a company guy? Perhaps you should go into business for yourself. At
least that way you couldn't get
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