I'm not Jewish --- not that there's anything wrong with it; mezuza machlokes; when granddad has cancer
By Wendy Belzberg
http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
I am a Gentile working professionally at a multi-faith non-profit
organization in Chicago. I am in contact everyday with many Jewish and
Christian clients, donors, and vendors. My problem is that my last name
sounds Jewish, and everyone jumps to the reasonable conclusion that I am
Jewish.
In the context of your professional life, your religion is irrelevant and
nobody's business but your own. (Would you be pondering the same question if
the color of your skin were black?) And you can tell that Rabbi that I said
so. If, however, you were conversing with said rabbi about getting married to
one of his congregants or to his daughter, or about being elected president
of the synagogue, and neglected to mention that you are not Jewish, then I
can understand his dismay.
Presumably your pitch to potential donors is the same whether you are
appealing to Jews or non-Jews. The only thing you are guilty of is not
disclosing a lack of respect for your donors. The suggestion that people,
specifically Jews, will donate only to their fellow Jews is insulting. The
cause is the cause. People donate because they believe.
* * *
My friend's father-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia and given 6 months
to live. That was 20 years ago. On the information ladder, I place doctors
and their predictions on the bottom wrung. Prepare your son-and
yourselves-for the worst only after you hear directly from G-d's lips what He
has in mind.
If you are reconsidering the amount of time your father-in-law and son
spend together in light of the diagnosis, however, allot them even more time
together, not less. (Nothing prepares you in advance for life's unpleasant
offerings. I fast on Yom Kippur, but I don't stop eating 4 days in advance
to make the fast easier.) The more shared experiences, the stronger and
sweeter will be your son's memories.
Finally, give your son precisely the amount of information he wants,
leaving the door open for him to learn more when he is ready. Answer every
question with complete honesty, but when he stops asking, you stop talking.
* * *
You don't want to know what happened to the family (Talmud, tractate Bava
Metziah) who took their mezuzah down when they left. Suffice it to say, you
wouldn't want it to happen to you.
A mezuzah protects you, your family and all your possessions. The
new owner of your old house may have seemed petty, but she actually did you a
favor.
The protective piece of the mezuzah, however, which it is customary -- not
law -- to leave behind, is the sacred parchment inside the mezuzah, not the
mezuzah, or casing, itself. If the sentimental value of your old mezuzah is
so strong, you may want to go back to the new owner with a replacement as a
house-warming present. Arm yourself with the fine points of my response. If
not, buy yourself a lovely new mezuzah instead.
(When you take the preexisting mezuzah off the door to change the casing,
check the parchment inside to make sure it is not
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