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Jewish World Review Oct. 4, 2001 / 17 Tishrei, 5762
James Lileks
Really? It's not as if the Marines kick in the doors of TV stations
around the world and force them to substitute "Baywatch" for local
programming. Someone living in a grimy industrial city might actually want
to watch pretty people running along a beach solving crime. It has the same
relationship to their life that "Star Trek" does to someone living in New
York. There's a reason American culture finds root in so many different
places: it's fun. Even at its stupidest, it demonstrates a society whose
freedom and polycultural fabric is taken for granted by its citizenry. Such
impiety naturally bothers the easily-bothered.
Contempt for the results of free will is often contempt for free will
itself. What's the point of having elections if your guy loses? What's the
point of free will if people choose sugar over substance? Yes, yes, in a
more perfect world we'd all be glued to the tube for The Federal Register
Hour, where experts discuss new laws, and how each one brings us .034%
closer to heaven. But consider what the Taliban would force the world to
watch - if they permitted TV, of course:
Daybreak - Noon: Prayers
Noon: The Prayer Hour
One PM: Singing and Dancing
Two PM: Televised execution of everyone who sang and danced during
yesterday's show
Three PM: Forbidden Body Part of the Day. Today: why the pancreas is
sinful
Four-Six PM: Protocols of the Elders of Zion (miniseries) (repeat)
Six PM: How to waste ammunition by firing wildly into the air
Seven PM: fundraiser for children orphaned by bullets falling
inexplicably from the sky, perhaps as a part of a Zionist scheme
Eight PM: Sign off. "Death to America!" performed by the Kabul Men's
Chorus who, forbidden to play music, just glower in stirring four-part
harmony.
It's this or Baywatch, really. Although David Hasselhoff in a full-body
veil is not exactly a bad idea.
Ah, but what of our metastizing commercial institutions? The
anti-globalists are always bothered by Starbucks, for example, as a soulless
retail entity that pops up everywhere and destroys . . . um . . . well, it
destroys something. They have a corporate logo, so they must be evil.
McCulture, it's been called - a baleful scourge that makes everyone into
soulless robots hungry for grease, salt, salty grease and greasy salt. But
for an interesting lesson in how McCulture actually works, turn to Egypt,
and listen to the song stylings of one Shaaban Abdel-Rehim.
He's an illiterate worker who gained huge popularity last summer with a
charming ditty called I HATE ISRAEL. Essentially, he just yells a variety of
trenchant political commentary" "I hate Israel, and I hate destruction, it
(Israel) loves destruction / I love Yassir Arafat and he is very dear to
me."
And so forth. Catchy, eh? It's got a beat, and you can mount a pogrom to
it. The song was popular not only in the street, but in the offices of the
intellegentsia: one newspaper columnist wrote "A hero? A comedian? I
believe he's both." Originally, the song was called "I Don't Like Israel,"
but a censor at Egypt's Art Censorship Board asked Shabaan to change it to
"hate."
Keep in mind this is one of our "moderate allies."
Here's the delightful twist: Shaaban Abdel-Rehim was hired for an ad
campaign for . . . you guessed it. McDonald's. He didn't sing the song, but
he appeared in ads for . . . the McFalafel. McDonald's International blamed
it on "a local marketing decision, " and the ad vanished from the air when
complaints began. In one sense, this is proof that McCulture does indeed
stifle local traditions.
Good for
09/25/01: Do the Europeans actually think that the war on murderous zealotry will be furthered by undercutting America?
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