Jewish World Review Feb. 11, 2004 / 19 Shevat, 5764
Pleeze by sum stuph frum me
I read in the paper that people are picking up great bargains on eBay by looking around for misspelled words.
Few of the millions of people who visit this giant online auction site bid on items that are misspelled or accompanied by a vague description, according to a New York Times News Service story.
As a result, one guy was able to pick up a set of pocket watch gears -- spelled "gers" -- for $2 and resell them for $200. Others have gotten great buys on antiks (antiques), bycicles and telefones.
While some may see this as simply another example of the decline of civilization, or at least that segment of civilization that is too lazy to punch the button of its computerized spell checker, I look at it as a way to turn a modest profit.
Since I have nothing of any value to sell, but do own an enormous amount of junk, this could be a good way to unload some of my trash and clutter onto some poor soul who thinks he's getting a bargain.
One possible eBay ad might read:
"Asordid collidge textbooks, nevir red, including 'Keenzeyun Economick Theery As It Purrtains To The Pryce Of Widjuts,' 'Logrhythms, Al Gore Rhythms and Quaderratic Equayjuns Explaned Sew Even An Inglish Majer Can Unnerstand It' and 'The Auge of Enlitenmint For Dummeys.' In addishun, vareious 900-paje Roosian novuls, also nevir red, inclewding 'The Dawn Floes Down Two The See and Leeves Beehind a Lot of Silt,' 'Won Day in the Lyfe of Eyevun Denisovichsolzhenitsyn That Seams to Last Longer Than Most Prezidental Administrashuns' and 'Wore and Peas' witch I think yule find makes an egg selling dorestop."
A second ad would seek bids for less valuable stuff:
"Vareous vinul wreckurds that have bin sitting in my attack fore at lease 10 years and are now probibubly nuthing moor than a big pudul of black goo becuz the avridge simmertime temporature up thair is wot yewd norm lee ass sousa ate wid the serfus of Venus knot that I've bean thair off course butt buy the same toucan ids hard two imajun how any of this wood make Joe Cocker sownd any less intelligibible and in fack id mide evun hep."
And finally some items that might be hard to move, even on eBay:
"Slitely uzd cowch that is nough pritty much eggs sklusively aukupied buy are too pugs bee cuss know hew man or hew woman wid any cents wood tuch the thing wid any port of his or her booty bee cuss their are things larking underbeneeth the seet kushins that I will nut describble two yew in da tail becuz I no childrun and the elder lee sumtimes vizit this sight and its all sew posse bill that your eating brekfust now witch wood not be good. Machine threw pillows inklooded free at know egg straw charge bud I wooden take um if I wore you."
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JWR contributor David Grimes is a columnist for The Sarasota Herald Tribune. Comment by clicking here.
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