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Jewish World Review Oct. 20, 2000/ 21 Tishrei, 5761

Marianne M. Jennings

Marianne M. Jennings
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Ten things the gay community should understand


http://www.jewishworldreview.com -- WATCHING the United Way/Boy Scout/gay community/corporate donations saga is like watching a Jerry Springer show on the thematics of The Odyssey. Everyone throws punches and gasps despite never having read the epic or pronounced Circe.

The Boy Scouts of America (BSA) became nonprofit non gratis when the Supreme Court ruled that its policy prohibiting gay troop leaders is protected under the constitutional right of freedom of association. The gay community and its spineless shortsighted corporate friends responded, "We'll fix them." Here in Tempe, Arizona, the self-declared gay mayor finds himself a recall target because he and a silly city manager became dictators, ordering city employees about on their BSA donations.

This controversy highlights the brutish tactics the gay community employs in its battles. They make ten mistakes in dealing with their fellow citizens. Perhaps this list can set the record straight, as it were.

#1. The vast majority of Americans don't deserve to be portrayed as Matthew Shepard killers. Are there violent heartless rednecks out there? Sure, but a couple of barhopping guys in Wyoming are not representative of the rest of us.

#2. Sexual orientation and sexual activity are private issues. Was l' affaire du Monica in vain? Privacy demands on everything from smoking to genetic screening are not suddenly irrelevant when it comes to sexual orientation.

#3. It is silly nagging to say that being gay means so much more than one's sex life. Such an assertion smacks of obsession. Sexuality is but one part of who we are. To argue it is the focus of life belies human superiority to beasts.

#4. The vast majority of Americans don't care whether someone is gay. If #s 2 and 3 were heeded, we wouldn't know. Even when we do know, we don't care. At work we care about slackers. At home we care about neighbors maintaining their yards.

#5. Homosexuals are often victims of their own conduct, not prejudice. I worked with a woman who let us know every day in every way that she was a lesbian. She drove us crazy not because of sexual orientation but because she was a miserable human being. There was no task she didn't whine about, no unpleasantry she didn't utter and no day she smiled. When she attributed her lack of advancement to her orientation one co-worker objected, "Actually, it's because you don't carry your load."

#6. Americans favor equal treatment of gays and lesbians, but oppose special treatment. We resent anyone being fired for reasons other than poor job performance. An indomitable spirit of justice is ever present and vigilant in matters of earning a living and homosexual workers have this indignation as an ally. Opposition to homosexuality as a protected class like race does not squelch equality. Race is a physical trait. Homosexuality is not. And see rules #2, 3 and 4.

#7. Inconsistent arguments test our patience. A former student of mine who felt compelled to disclose his sexual orientation once asked, "Do you honestly think anyone would choose the miserable life I have?" Then why condemn the Family Research Council for its work in converting gays? If tolerance is important, why attack the BSA?

#8. Opposition to gay marriage is not homophobic. Marriage is more than insurance and pension benefits. It has been, in this era and all that came before, a union between man and woman for purposes of procreation and protection of progeny. Parental rights confusion in homosexual unions alone should give pause. The role of government is not one of dictating relationships. However, it is the role of government to provide legal protection for those relationships that further society's best interests.

#9. Maligning heterosexual marriage does little to advance discussion. No marriage is perfect. No parent is perfect. That humans don't always rise to the ideals of marriage and parenthood is insufficient reason to surrender its structure to same-gender unions.

#10. There is a difference between tolerance and acceptance. Tolerance is live and let live. Acceptance mandates that the straights surrender religious beliefs. While some religions appear ready to jump ship when it comes to scriptures, there are many that condemn homosexuality, not homosexuals. Those same religions condemn cohabitation, regardless of gender. Faithful members will hire homosexuals, work with them in the community and help them as neighbors. But, they protect their children from the "gay lifestyle." Just as they would not permit a male PE teacher in the girl's locker room, they decline gay troop leaders for Scout camping trip. It's not bigotry or homophobia; it's common sense, applied equally across sexual orientation lines.

The BSA/gay community/corporate battles should be brought to a close with the motto of the gay community: live and let live. That motto, in line with #7 above, also applies to the Boy Scouts and their canon of remaining "morally straight."


JWR contributor Marianne M. Jennings is a professor of legal and ethical studies at Arizona State University. Send your comments by clicking here.

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© 2000, Marianne M. Jennings