Jewish World Review July 26, 2002 / 17 Menachem-Av, 5762

Greg Crosby

Greg Crosby
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

Nothing to Write About | Did you ever feel like not talking? You know, like when you're at home and maybe a little tired or just non-communicative and you just don't feel like talking. But then the phone rings and it's a friend who really wants to talk...and talk...and talk. So because he's a friend you talk to him even though your heart isn't in it. Well, for me, sometimes I feel that way about writing my column.

Every once in a while writing a column doesn't come easy. Like now. It's not that there isn't any news to comment on -- there's news all over the place. Take your pick. There're tons of hot stories -- like the murder/rape of young Samantha Runnion and the subsequent arrest of Alejandro Avila as her killer. Sure, I could write a whole column on that one.

But plenty of other columnists have done so already, and there's nothing that I could possibly add -- except to join the chorus of those who pray that the creep gets the death penalty... and the sooner the better. Besides, the whole thing makes me sick to my stomach.

Then there's the story of the Inglewood cop caught on tape smacking a teenager. Nothing much would have ever come from that if it weren't for the fact that the cop is white and the teen is black. So here we go again with calls of police racism, the feds getting into the act with civil rights charges, the usual black leaders coming out of the woodwork pointing fingers and demanding the cop's head on a platter, and the mighty television media running the tape over and over and over again until I want to smack each and every anchor person personally.

But, you know what? I've seen this movie before and I know how it ends. The cop goes to prison, the kid sues the city and gets millions, and the anchors move on to the next "breaking news" event.

Another big story this summer has been about all the underhanded dealings within America's largest companies. Or as Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey might have put it: "Conniving and cunning corporation crooks conspiring to "cook the books" and concocting corrupt capers by conning, concealing, and cannibalizing company capital."

In other words, business bosses bilking their stockholders and pensioners out of millions. Thanks to these bums and what they did to the stock market, there are a lot of people whose nest eggs have cracked wide open and spilled out. I must say, it was nice to see Adelphia big shots like John Rigas taken away in handcuffs recently. Put 'em all in prison -- but first take back every dime they stole.

The war on terror is no longer on the front pages. Some might think that's a good thing, but it makes me think that maybe our leaders have lost their resolve and no longer have the will to fight an all out war. If that is so, then we're sunk. Very evil people, millions of them, want to see America destroyed and unless we put them out of business now they will strike us again. No question about it. It is long past time to clean up the crud in the Middle East. Let's roll!

We've certainly had our share of forest fires this year, the latest breaking out in Sequoia National Forest and threatening our giant redwoods. The environmentalists blame the Forest Service, the Forest Service blames the environmentalists, and so it goes. Meanwhile, thousands of acres of forests have been lost this year. Another sad story.

So what to write about this week? Maybe we should turn to the world of entertainment. Hmmm, I see that Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie have decided to get a divorce after two years of wedded bliss. What a shame. And after all those public declarations of eternal love and stuff. I guess they were only kidding after all. Too bad they didn't figure that out BEFORE they got tattooed with each other's name. And BEFORE they adopted a Cambodian baby last May. This was marriage number five for Billy Bob, who looks like he might be going for the Mickey Rooney/Elizabeth Taylor/Artie Shaw invitational demolition derby honors. Nicely done, kids! Keep up the good work!

As I was saying, this column didn't come easily for me this week. I just didn't feel like talking. But then, suddenly, you called me. You wanted to read my column. So, because you're a friend, I talked. Thanks for calling.

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

Greg Crosby Archives

© 2001 Greg Crosby