Jewish World Review Feb. 21, 2003 / 19 Adar I, 5763

Greg Crosby

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Memo to the L.A. City Council --- GET A LIFE! | Have you heard about the big debate on whether or not there should be a war against Iraq? No, I don't mean the debate going on in the United Nations. Not NATO. Not Congress, either. I'm talking about the Los Angeles City Council. That's right, last Tuesday the Los Angeles City Council had a debate, then voted on a resolution against the war in Iraq. Hundreds of anti-war protesters jammed City Hall to persuade the council members to show their non-support for President Bush.

As it turned out the anti-war resolution fell one vote short of the eight needed for passing. The resolution is expected to be brought up again on Friday ( Feb. 21) so by the time you read this, the thing will have been voted on again and it will have either passed or not. But who cares? Either way it makes no difference, but it does bring up a few questions.....

Number one, why are City Council members in L.A. (or any city, for that matter) spending their time voting on national foreign policy decisions? They have absolutely no say in the matter of national defense. It is literally none of their business. These people were elected to keep our crosswalks painted and our street signs well lit, not decide international issues. What's the matter, don't they have anything REAL to vote on?

Their time would be better spent fixing some of the pot holes in our streets, getting the palm fronds picked up and replacing some of the broken sidewalks around town. I live on a street in the valley that still doesn't have any street lights on it -- do they vote on THAT? No, they vote on a resolution to oppose "unilateral war" in Iraq. What are they, nuts? What are they going to vote on next -- whether Israel should give half of Jerusalem to the Palestinians?

Are these folks taking themselves just a tad too seriously or what? Hey -- guess what Nate Holden, Tom LaBonge, Cindy Miscikowski, Eric Garcetti, Ruth Galanter, Janice Hahn, and Ed Reyes -- no one in Washington gives a rip about your opposition to an Iraqi invasion. And, sorry, you DO NOT speak for all of the City of Los Angeles.

Of course the usual celebrity suspects were on hand at the meeting to give their usual aid and comfort to the enemies of America. "Lefty Ed" Asner and other geniuses and moral giants of the entertainment community led the charge in pushing for the preposterous proposal. That's just what we need in this dangerous time of international terrorism -- actors making foreign policy decisions.

Hey, I've got an idea! Let's make the not ready for prime time comedians on Saturday Night Live justices on the Supreme Court. Appoint Mike Farrell Secretary of Defense. How about Sean Penn as Secretary of State? Sure. These people know as much as Colin Powell, Dick Cheney, and Condoleza Rice, don't they? Maybe they even know more. They shoot off their mouths like they do.

You know how actors are always looking for that one great part to sink their teeth in? Well, I've got one hell of a part for all the actor protesters who want to keep dictators like Saddam Hussein in power -- try acting like a patriotic American for a change. Who knows, you might even get an Academy Award for that performance.

So anyway, this Friday the L.A. do- nothings on the City Council will vote once again on whether the United States should take out the butcher of Baghdad or let him alone to develop his biological and chemical weapons so he can pass them along to the next terrorist group who plans to kill Americans. I can't wait for the vote. I'm sure Ed Asner will be on hand to offer his astute observations and deep thinking. Maybe some of the other deep thinkers like Sandy Duncan, Martin Sheen and Susan Sarandon and George Clooney will enlighten us as well. You've heard of Actors and Others for Animals? Welcome to Dimwitted Actors and Others For Dictators.

I really wish a few of these "performers" would go back on the stage -- just so somebody would give 'em "the hook."

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2001 Greg Crosby