Jewish World Review March 14, 2003 / 13 Adar II, 5763

Greg Crosby

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Consumer Reports

Crosby In Wonderland, Part II | A couple of weeks ago I introduced a new feature to the column I call "Crosby in Wonderland" which is devoted to random musings on contemporary culture, current events, and basically anything else I want to "wonder" about. Since the column first ran, reader response to that feature has been overwhelming --- but I'm going to continue doing the thing anyway. Here then, is the next installment. As always I welcome your comments.

I WONDER ... what happened to women's skirts and dresses? With the exception of a couple of extreme styles, we never see women wearing traditional dresses or skirts anymore. And that goes double for little girls, too. I miss that uniquely feminine look.

I WONDER ... why is it okay to call British people "Brits" and Polish people "Poles" and Jewish people "Jews" and Kurdish people "Kurds" and Turkish people "Turks" and Swedish people "Swedes" but it is not okay to call Japanese people "Japs?"

I WONDER ... why can't I find a really good pumpernickel bread anywhere?

I WONDER ... when will the United States finally pull out of the United Nations? The UN has proven time and time again that it is less than fair when dealing with the countries of the world. It is an organization made up primarily of third-world basketcases, dictatorships and socialist and anti-Semitic regimes. An organization where Iraq heads up disarmament and Syria presides over human rights issues. What a joke. The UN is worse than irrelevant, it is dangerous.

I WONDER ... who started putting those little tip containers on the counters of places like donut shops, coffee joints, bagel stores and other fast-food type places? I don't mind tipping waiters and other service people who work hard and really do deserve something extra for their extra effort, but not some kid standing behind a counter who did nothing but take my money and hand me an over-priced coffee in a paper cup.

I WONDER ... where the heck did chocolate martinis come from? I guess that's what happens when most bar patrons (although over the age of 21), are really children who've never grown up. I wouldn't be surprised to see Oreo cookie martinis next. Or Snickers martinis or peanut butter and jelly martinis. And happy meals served with every drink purchase.

I WONDER ... why much of the Hollywood elite are so willing to forgive and forget director Roman Polanski's admitted rape of a child, and yet refused to forgive director Elia Kazan for testifying at the House Un-American Committee some fifty odd years ago? In defending the Polanski award, they say it's important to separate the creative work of a person from his personal life, but they certainly didn't do that in the case of Kazan (whose creative output is arguably much greater than Polanski's). When Kazan appeared at the Oscar ceremony to receive a special award a couple of years ago, many in the audience wouldn't even applaud the ninety-three year old as he walked out. It seems that, for many people, compassion and forgiveness is something reserved for only those who happen to share the same political views that they hold.

I WONDER ... why can't I find a "New York pizza" that really tastes like a pizza tastes in New York?

I WONDER ... why Jimmy Carter can't keep his big mouth shut? I used to think that, even though his actions stunk, at least his basic intentions were good and decent -- but I don't believe that anymore. He kisses up to Communistic dictators like Castro while bad-mouthing our current president. It was through his efforts that Iran deposed the Shah and instituted Western-hating radical Islamism, which in turn led to the taking of the American hostages. And it was Carter who Clinton sent to North Korea to negotiate with that peace-loving regime. He believed what they told him and now we know that those bums have nuclear weapons that could reach the West Coast. Carter takes the word of tyrants over our national interests every time. If the United Nations were a person, it's name would be Jimmy Carter.

I WONDER ... after the Iraqi war is over, and we win it swiftly, and her people are liberated, and our military uncovers large caches of weapons of mass destruction and the full record of Saddam's atrocities are made public -- how long will it be before those on the left say, "Oops. We were wrong. We're sorry"? Don't hold your breath. Being on the left is never having to say you're sorry.

NOTE: As I write this, news has just broken that Elizabeth Smart has been found alive not far from her Utah home. This after almost nine months since she was first reported missing! What a miracle! A true wonder and the perfect way to end a Crosby in Wonderland column. I hope she's well.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. A freelance writer in Southern California, you may contact him by clicking here.

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© 2001 Greg Crosby