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Jewish World Review Oct. 19, 2001 /2 Mar-Cheshvan, 5762
Michael Ledeen
The cherished Wuss awards, regularly bestowed on leading
appeasers during the Cold War, have been gathering dust for
more than a decade, but the brilliant performance of
congressional leaders in recent days convinced the award
committee it was time to resume. Dedicated as all Americans
are in these trying times to evenhandedness and
bipartisanship, the committee's members (names concealed
for obvious reasons) have voted the first Wuss awards of the
21st century to House Speaker Hastert, Senate Majority
Leader Daschle, and Senate Minority Leader Lott.
Lott was an obvious choice, since he proposed to shut down
the World's Greatest Deliberative Body within seconds of the
first report of anthrax spores in the Hart Senate Office
Building. The committee was convinced that this impressively
rapid response showed that Lott had anticipated a threat to
Senate security, and had carefully planned his dramatic call
for instant appeasement. Not surprisingly, other leaders had
to scramble to try to match his speedy and dramatic call for
surrender.
Hastert actually managed to go one step further, for his
passionate call for House closure came despite a total lack of
any threat to himself or any other House member. Not a
single spore had been found in any House office building. Not
a single staffer had been infected, or even sprinkled. Yet
Hastert was more than equal to the challenge, and the
committee was unanimous in its admiration for his dynamic
leadership.
Daschle took some time to catch up, even though his office
holds the current record for spore count and staff infection.
Perhaps because his office is in a part of the Hart Building,
which is served by a separate ventilation system (and thus
most other offices are not affected by anything in Daschle's
ducts), he may have felt he would appear insufficiently
Solomonic if he asked other senators to stay home instead of
doing the nation's business. But he overcame his initial
dithering and issued a strong call to close down the whole
thing. Committee members felt he was entitled to a Wuss of
his own despite his early uncertainty.
With both Senate leaders on board, one might have imagined
quick passage of the measure, but the forces of appeasement
were unexpectedly gunned down by Texas senator Phil
Gramm, who proclaimed his intention to stay and work, and
even went so far as to say it was more important than ever
for the Senate to remain in session, as an example of civic
courage.
For the moment, no definitive decision has been reached in
the Senate, which will reconvene on Thursday morning before
closing for "medical research."
The committee had hoped to be able to reward the entire
Senate with a collective Wuss. This is no longer possible, but
committee members remain confident that other national
leaders will soon be able to add a newly polished Wuss to
their trophy shelves in the very near
10/15/01: Rediscovering American character
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