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http://www.jewishworldreview.com --
I CAN’T THINK of eight days of the year that we are
more conscious of what we eat than Pesach, and so,
here to take your mind off what you can’t eat during
Pesach, is my Pesach Food Quiz.
1. Chametz is:
(a) the result of one of 5 grains that ferments and
rises after 18 minutes of contact with water, which
must be removed from your house and sold to a non-Jew
(b) a deadly intergalactic virus that invades your
home and clings to everything in sight, which can only
be destroyed by the full array of industrial-strength
cleaners
(c) the latest weight-loss drug
(d) a kosher pig that lives in trees
2. Kitniyos are:
(a) Legumes etc. that are similar to chametz and
forbidden for Ashkenazim but not for Sephardim
(b) Another one of those crazy Ashkenazic customs
(c) Anything that doesn’t taste like cardboard and is
therefore forbidden
3. What convenience food items are not yet available
in a Kosher L’Pesach version?
(a) Pancakes
4. Shmurah matzah is:
(a) Matzah made from flour which has been guarded
since harvest to prevent its becoming chametz due to
contact with water for more than 18 minutes
(b) More expensive per pound than most kosher cuts of
meat
(c) Matzah eaten by on-duty security guards (what kind
of an occupation is that for a Jewish boy?)
(d) The most pressure-sensitive substance known to man
5. The term “Gebrokts” refers to:
(a) A stringency which prohibits any contact between
matzah products and water for the first 7 days of
Pesach
(b) Another one of those crazy Ashkenazic customs
(c) How you feel when you finally manage to sit down
after a month of Pesach cleaning and the last 72
continuous hours of cooking
(d) Your financial situation after all that Pesach
food shopping
6. Some people spend Pesach in a kosher L’Pesach hotel
because:
(a) They want to escape from Pesach cleaning and/or
are deathly afraid of chametz
(b) That’s how Moshe Rabbeinu and Bnei Yisrael did it
coming out of Mitrayim
(d) If the Hershkowitzes can afford to go to a
Pesachdik hotel, why can’t we?
7. At the Seder, Eliyahu HaNavi comes to each seder
table to:
(a) Drink a bit of wine from a special cup set aside
for him, and possibly announce the coming of Moshiach
(b) Spill the red wine on the heirloom tablecloth,
then watch the hockey playoffs on TV
(c) Get a night out from Mrs. Hanavi on his souped-up
T-bird chariot
(d) Check hechshers and the dessert selection
8. Which of the following activities CANNOT be done
with matzah on Chol HaMoed?
(a) Create an edible jigsaw puzzle
(b) Play a game of frisbee (c) Feed it to the goldfish and watch them sink to the
bottom of the fish tank
(d) Soak up kitchen spills, flooding rivers and ocean
oil slicks
A joyous Passover!
Jewish World Review April 24, 2000 / 19 Nissan, 5760
Pesach Food Quiz
By Jordan Max
(d) That crazed look that your children get after too
much consumption of chocolate and other chazzerai you
wouldn’t allow them to have the rest of the year,
which you let them have because you feel guilty for
what they’re missing
(b) Pizza crust
(c) Bagel mix
(d) Toast
(c) They want to fulfill the Torah commandment to eat
matzah by eating around the clock for eight days and
nights
JWR contributor Jordan Max is a Toronto-based humorist and columnist for
The Candian Jewish News. Send your comments to him by clicking here.
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