My special prosecutor can beat up your special prosecutor

And The Lord created man in His own Image. Then He ripped woman from the ribcage of Adam without the benefit of opiates and thrust upon him without dating services his one and only sweetheart. Eve was fated to be the Mother and Great Grandmother of all humanity.

And soeth they lived. And soeth they procreated, generation after generation, sunrise to sunset, forever and ever.

And Satan created the lawyer in his image to strip people of their wealth and redistribute it to his own pockets. The Devil succuth up the bacterium of prehistoric Whale feces and sculptured the first attorney, three piece suit and leather briefcase included. He filled his mind with the devious stratagem and the lawyer thrived. He surpassed man in his Machiavellian quest to dominate the earth and the governments he created.

The man and the woman did not always get along. Their fights became such that divorce was invented. It was a disaster for man and woman but the lawyer struck it rich. He badgered and antagonized either side so the hatred groweth, the children suffereth and the pockets of the litigator bulgeth.

And the lawyer tired of gaining wealth from the sufferings of his victims.

Then he discovered politics. He worshipped politics. It was a place he could dominate as his mentor, Satan reigned in hell.

I was going to be a lawyer but I lost my appeal

Lawyers took the place of citizen volunteers running our government as was intended by our forefathers. Our founders imagined elected citizen volunteers who would run our Congress then go back to their private lives.

But the lawyer, steeped in his bloviating arrogance began convincing voters that ordinary citizens weren’t as qualified as they to govern. Trusting Americans kindly stepped aside and let the rats into the Congress, the White House and our intelligence services --- especially the FBI.

Their most powerful base became The Supreme Court, a place for lawyers to rule without the hindering of nagging term limits.

They could rule from their pedestal until and beyond their understanding that they ought to be awake while in session and at least wear something under their robes.

They aided in the holding of elected office as a prize for lawyers who could be bought --- and sold-over and over again.

You can eat an elephant: You just can’t eat him all at once

The average man would thinketh that this carnivore of humanity could be sated. But it was not to be. Some lawyers were so brazen with the law that they misused it to accuse ordinary citizen representatives (a rare commodity in Congress these days) of colluding with godless governments from far away realms to distort our elections.

When these government lawyers’ lies became apparent and several of its perpetrators were proven to have accumulated many felonies, they had the idea to create a person so free to create mischief he could manipulate any situation in any way the wanted.

Welcome Bob Mueller---- ANNOINTED SPECIAL PROSECUTOR and this the day after he interviewed for the job as Director of the FBI. He is special because he is closer to Satan than all others. Mueller had a choice to decline but one can see whose side he’s on by the demon lawyers he chose for staff and the potential lawbreakers he is friends with and supporters of. And there have been no limits put in this tyrannosaurus' way.

Finally, one of the representatives from the other side protested this misbalance of powers. He demanded that AG Jeff Sessions appoint another SPECIAL PROSECUTOR with limited power to investigate in specific areas of Hillary Clinton’s zillions of emails --- at least the one’s she didn’t shred.

Then the battle will be set.

The monsters will bare their claws and show their fangs and battle one another while collecting huge sums of our money.

And when they are done, they will sign book and movie deals and make millions of more dollars.

And those lawyers who destroyeth our election process will be rewarded.

They will be promoted to the ultimate. They shalt spend their remaining days on the bench of the 9th Circuit so that they can forever impinge their evil on the rest of the world.

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DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state.