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March 29th, 2024

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HILLARY RULES!

Dave Weinbaum

By Dave Weinbaum

Published April 3, 2015

 HILLARY RULES!

It has come to my attention that our press needs schooling in how they treat women—that is, one woman in particular. Amy Chozick, a journalist for the New York Times was put on notice by Hillary supporters of thirteen words she can't use in referring to Mrs. Clinton. I think we need to consider this seriously, don't you?

First Lady, lawyer, Senator and now resigned Secretary of State and the inevitable Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton. Mrs. Clinton has been in and out of public life for a long time—long enough for some to complain she's out of touch.

In her defense, it's tough being married to an ex-president, especially Bubba. He had roving eyes and other body parts. Bill's flights to billionaire Jeffery Epstein's private island on Jeff's personal jet could make Hillary even more secretive—if that's possible. Epstein, a registered pedophile who served 18 months in jail, is known for keeping a cabal of underage girls for sex there. Seems Prince Andrew was a preferred guest as well. How come we know about Randy Andy's antics and not the Big Dog?

Hillary was very supportive, some might say manipulative in her support of Bill behind the scenes. While she took on Bill's attackers, saying he was the victim of a rightwing conspiracy, she neglected to admit one of the Ex-President's legacies. President Clinton was the first and only American President to get a Jewish girl to eat pork. Bubba was sloppy, though. He left a stain instead of his mark.

No wonder Hillary had to be calculating. She knew that if Bill went down it would kill what she was most ambitious for— the Presidency of the United States of America. After all, wasn't this the Clinton's plan?

Hillary knows the political world is full of potholes. It's a jungle out there. She can't appear to look overconfident. While her past treatment of women would indicate she'd do anything to win, I'm confident that she knows she's not entitled to become leader of the free world.

Many of her husband's scandals took place in the 90's. She'll have to fight the new stigma of representing the past by declaring soon and starting her campaign.


Mrs. Clinton will be peppered by questions about the 32,000 emails she shredded as well as the server she had cleaned. Her making Nixon look like a Boy Scout is something to be admired. Nixon was on the verge of impeachment over 18 minutes gone missing in the Watergate tapes. Hillary, a lawyer working on Nixon's demise, hasn't been charged with anything.

Her excuse for those missing emails seems insincere, though. "…emails about planning Chelsea's wedding and planning my mother's funeral arrangements etc., etc. …" Nothing about Benghazi? Hmmm.

If she appears to be too secretive it could polarize the voters. Her poll numbers indicating trustworthiness are dropping like a rock as I write this.

At this point, it would be disingenuous and insincere for her to represent herself as entitled to be the president.

Despite that, I agree with those critics. They warn that to say certain words or even imply Hillary has an attitude, could result in an anti-woman burning at the stake.

The words that should be banned for we who write punditry, news or other journalistic endeavors are " polarizing, calculating, disingenuous, insecure, ambitious, inevitable, entitled, overconfident, secretive, will do anything to win, represents the past and out of touch.

That hardly scratches the surface. Here's some more anti-Hillary banter we must ban: Web of deception, bought by our enemies, steeped in sleaze, victim, housewife, felon, Communist, Socialist, ruthless, pantsuit, Saul Alinsky, driven by need for power, architect of Obama's foreign policy, intolerant, reset button(s), Benghazi, Muslim Caliphate, 3 am phone calls, illegal contributions, what difference does it make, anti-Muhammad video(s) and, last but not least, liar.

As those of you not from Branson can probably surmise, I ran amok over the use of the first set of banned words for the sake of the irony of it all. Therefore, I dedicate this column plus a ten spot. I want to show my sincerity by providing some value to those who claim my writing is a waste of bandwidth. Spend wisely my critics. There won't be any more.

After all, we all know now:

HILLARY RULES!

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DaveWeinbaum.com. He is a businessman, writer and part-time stand-up comic and resides in a Midwest red state.

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