Jewish World Review Nov. 12, 2003 / 17 Mar-Cheshvan, 5764
Prince Charles admits taping makeover show
'Royal Eye for the Commoner Guy' to air in November sweeps
In a nationally televised address last night, Prince Charles acknowledged the existence of a scandalous video of him but said that the tape was merely a pilot for a new makeover series to air later this month on the Bravo network.
The program, "Royal Eye for the Commoner Guy," was taped in September in the utmost secrecy, but the steady drumbeat of tabloid rumors forced the Prince of Wales to out himself as a reality-TV show host last night.
"Does the video exist? Yes. Is it fabulous? Yes," Charles told a stunned nation.
Prince Charles then showed a clip from the "Royal Eye" program, in which he helps a self-styled "slob" from Chicago weed out the hideous clothes from his wardrobe and redo his slovenly apartment.
On the nightly BBC program "Windsor Watch," historian Lord Andrew Lyndon-Hogg expressed doubt that the monarchy could survive this latest controversy.
"There has been suspicion for some time that there was something a little odd about Charles, but no one ever dreamt he engaged in reality TV," Lord Lyndon-Hogg said. "I dare say this may be too much for the British people to bear."
Even more damaging was a new poll showing only 23% of Britons wanting Charles to be the next King, with 84% choosing football star Brian Beckham and a surprising 42% favoring Camilla Parker Bowles.
In an alternate succession plan reportedly being hammered out by the royal family, Prince William would eventually become King, with Charles assuming the somewhat lesser title of The Aristocrat Formerly Known As Prince.
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Andy Borowitz Archives
JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author of the just released "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to
Surviving in Prison and
"Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" , "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.
© 2003, Andy Borowitz