Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review Oct. 4, 2004 / 149 Tishrei, 5765

Andy Borowitz

JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

Kerry: I will fix mount St. Helens

Bush ‘in denial’ about volcano, senator charges | Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry kept President Bush on the defensive today, telling a Pittsburgh audience that Mr. Bush had allowed the long-dormant volcano Mount St. Helens to erupt on his watch, adding that he would "fix Mount St. Helens once and for all" if elected in November.

"When George Bush was elected president, Mount St. Helens was nothing but a trivia question," Mr. Kerry said. "Well, guess what, folks — it's spewing volcanic gases right now and it's only a matter of time before she blows."

Mr. Kerry said that Mr. Bush had refused to keep an eye on the troubling increase in volcanic activity at Mount St. Helens because he was "totally obsessed with Iraq."

"I've got news for George Bush, " Mr. Kerry said. "Saddam Hussein isn't erupting. Mount St. Helens is erupting."

After accusing Mr. Bush of being "in denial" about "the molten magama stewing inside that scary sucker," Mr. Bush fired back, saying that it would be "sending the wrong message" to say that Mr. St. Helens was erupting.

Donate to JWR

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, the first-ever recipient of the National Press Club's Award for Humor, is a former president of the Harvard Lampoon,and a regular humor columnist for, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author of, most recently, "The Borowitz Report : The Big Book of Shockers" Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.


© 2004, Andy Borowitz