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Jewish World Review June 25, 2004 / 6 Tamuz, 5764

Andy Borowitz

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Consumer Reports

Majority of Kerry voters believe he is not Bush

Not-Bushness key to Dem's appeal, poll suggests | In a new Time/CNN poll released today, a majority of voters supporting Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) for president agreed with the statement, "He is not George Bush."

The poll results seem to indicate that Mr. Kerry's status as someone who is not President Bush is pivotal to his appeal among those who support him.

Of those surveyed, 98% said they believed that John Kerry was not George Bush, with a scant 2% answering "Don't know."

Asked to name the issue that concerned them most, 9% of Kerry voters named "improving the economy," 12% named "fighting terrorism," and a whopping 79% named "electing someone who is not George Bush."

"With weeks to go until our convention, it's significant that so many voters already believe that John Kerry is not George Bush," said Kerry strategist Bob Shrum. "Once our ad buys get underway, we expect the number of people believing John Kerry is not George Bush will only increase."

Perhaps in response to the poll results, the Bush campaign today responded with a series of ads intended to plant seeds of doubt in the voters' minds about whether or not John Kerry is, in fact, not George Bush.

Emphasizing that both men went to Yale and were members of the secret society Skull and Bones, the new ads end with an announcer saying, "John Kerry: maybe he is George Bush."

Libby McCleod, a Kerry supporter in the battleground state of Ohio, said she was "troubled" by the ad

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JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author of the just released "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison and "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" , "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.


© 2004, Andy Borowitz