Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review June 15, 2004 / 26 Sivan, 5764

Andy Borowitz

Michael Barone
JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
MUGGER
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

Clinton’s promise not to upstage Kerry upstages Kerry


Media descend upon Chappaqua, shunning nominee

http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | Former President Bill Clinton’s promise not to upstage Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass) has had precisely the opposite effect, as his promise garnered more press attention than the presumptive Democratic nominee for the third consecutive day.


Case in point: a Kerry campaign rally in Toledo, Ohio yesterday was attended by virtually no representatives of the media except for a lone stringer from a Japanese newspaper, who asked the candidate, “What can you tell us about President Clinton’s promise not to upstage you?”


A visibly angry Sen. Kerry ignored the reporter, thundering, “Where the [bleep] is everyone?” before a quick-thinking campaign aide unplugged his microphone.


The answer to Mr. Kerry’s question, it turned out, was Chappaqua, where hundreds of reporters staked out the former president’s home in the hopes of getting further comment about Mr. Clinton’s promise not to upstage Mr. Kerry.


Kerry campaign aides have been sensitive about the upstaging issue ever since a rally in Evanston, Illinois earlier this month in which the candidate was briefly upstaged by a plank of wood.


The pine two-by-four, which was leaning against the wall behind Mr. Kerry as he spoke, stole the audience’s attention away from the Massachusetts senator until it was spotted by sharp-eyed aides and removed.


Mr. Kerry briefly considered choosing the plank of wood as his running mate until advisers convinced him that the plank would upstage him.


Elsewhere, in the NBA finals, Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant said he was “troubled” by the Lakers’ three losses to the Detroit Pistons because “it means that the side with the most money doesn’t always win.”

Donate to JWR

Enjoy this writer's work? Why not sign-up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.


ARCHIVES:

JWR Contributor Andy Borowitz, a former president of the Harvard Lampoon, is a regular humor columnist for Newsweek.com, The New Yorker, The New York Times and TV Guide. Recognized by Esquire magazine as one of the most powerful producers in television, he was the creator and producer of the hit TV series The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and producer of the Oscar-nominated film Pleasantville. He is the author of the just released "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison and "Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading" , "Rationalizations to Live By". Comments by clicking here. Visit his website by clicking here.

Up

© 2004, Andy Borowitz