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Jewish World Review Nov. 24, 2003 / 29 Mar-Cheshvan, 5764

Mitch Albom

Mitch Albom
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Celebs' misdeeds will make great tales for the grandkids | Sometime in the future .

"Grandpa, who's that man in the book?"

"His name is Michael Jackson. He was a famous singer."

"Why is he in handcuffs?"

"He was accused of doing bad things to children."

"And who's that?"

"That's Phil Spector. He was a famous music producer."

"Why is he in handcuffs?"

"He was charged with murder."

"Who's that? The man with the white hair?"

"That's Robert Blake. He was once a famous actor. When he was small like you, he was in the Little Rascals."

"Why is he in jail?"

"They said he shot his wife."

"And that man there?"

"That's Robert Downey Jr. Nominated for the Oscar."

"He looks really tired."

"He was arrested for drugs."

"Who's that there?"

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"R. Kelly. Another famous singer."

"Was he arrested for something?"

"Yes. But let's not talk about it."

"Who's that, Grandpa? The tall man in the nice suit?"

"That's Kobe Bryant. He was a great basketball player."

"Why is he before a judge?"

"He was charged with doing something bad to a woman."

"And that man there? The one who looks angry?"

"That's Mike Tyson. He was the best boxer of his time."

"But he's not boxing. He's wearing an orange outfit."

"He's in jail. He did something bad to a woman, too."

"Who's that man there? The other tall one?"

"Jayson Williams, another basketball player. He was arrested, too."

"Did he do something bad to a woman?"

"No. He was charged with shooting a man."

"Ooh --- look. There's lots of pictures of that guy."

"Yes. O.J. Simpson. He was famous for running a football --- and later for being on TV."

"Who are all those men around him?"

"Lawyers. He was accused of killing his wife and her friend."

"Was he famous, too?"

"Yes, he was."

"Do you have to do something bad if you're famous?"

"No. It only seems that way."

"Look at that man. Is he a clown?" "That's Pee-wee Herman. He used to entertain children."

"What did he get arrested for?"

"Let's not talk about it."

"Who's that lady? The one with the dark hair?"

"Winona Ryder, an actress with great talent."

"What did she do?"

"She was arrested for shoplifting." "And that lady there?"

"Courtney Love."

"Pretty name."

"Arrested for drugs."

"That man looks sick."

"Nick Nolte, another great actor. But on that day, he was charged with driving under the influence."

"And that handsome man?"

"Hugh Grant, another actor."

"Did he do something wrong?"

"Got caught with a woman who --- well, he shouldn't have been with."

"Those men there?"

"Marv Albert. Bobby Brown. Tommy Lee. Jim Brown."

"Were they famous?"

"Sure were. But they each were accused of hurting women. It sort of changed the way people thought about them."

"And that woman there?"

"Tonya Harding."

"What did she do?"

"It's complicated."

"Hey, Grandpa. Who's that? Over there? In the picture frames?"

"Well, let's see . that's your Aunt Doris, that's your Uncle Jack, that's your grandma and your cousins, Marsha, Jesse and Doreen."

"They're not as pretty as the other people."

"I guess not."

"Were they famous?"


"Did they get arrested?"


"Not a single one?"

"Not a single one."

"Hmm . Tell me more about them."

"With pleasure ."

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Comment on JWR contributor Mitch Albom's column by clicking here. You may purchase his latest book, "The Five People You Meet in Heaven", by clickingHERE. (Sales help fund JWR.)


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