Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review June 13, 2000 /10 Sivan, 5760

Michelle Malkin

JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
David Limbaugh
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Debbie Schlussel
Sam Schulman
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

Tune out Eminem's
pitiful "poetry" -- THE NATION'S leading cultural critics are in love with a thuggish performer who calls himself "Eminem." He's a white rapper armed with a 9mm Smith & Wesson in one hand, two Grammys in the other, and a filthy mouth full of expletives.

You wouldn't know that from the music reviews. Eminem's work demonstrates "visceral clarity and squealing, minimalist drive," gushes New York Times cultural critic Neil Strauss. The 27-year-old celebrity, born Marshall Mathers, "is blessed with the ability to make any two words with a letter in common rhyme, filling his albums with a logorrhea brimming with complex internal rhyme schemes and rhythmic repetitions." ("Logorrhea?" I had to look it up, too.)

N'Gai Croal of Newsweek agrees with Strauss. In her flatulent music review, she embraced Eminem as a "lyrical arsonist" who is "arguably the most compelling figure in all of pop music." Will Hermes of Entertainment Weekly also swooned: "Eminem proves himself a peerless rap poet with a profound understanding of the power of language."

So what does this esteemed Robert Frost of rap write about, exactly? Most of his critically-acclaimed rhythmic repetitions end in "-uck," "-it," and "-itch." The grand themes of his Grammy-winning debut album, "The Slim Shady LP," revolve around hatred of his mother, hatred of his girlfriend, love of drugs, rape, and murder. Eminem, you see, was beaten up in school and had a crummy home life. Croal explains that " the rapper's sociopathic facade masks the lingering hurts of his Dickensian childhood."

The most infamous track, "'97 Bonnie and Clyde," relates a tale of Eminem and his baby daughter taking a trip to the beach to dump his murdered girlfriend's body: "Here, you wanna help da-da tie a rope around this rock?/We'll tie it to her footsie then we'll roll her off the dock…" In "Role Model," he strikes a sneering pose of contrition: "Mother.. are you there? I love you/I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel."

Eminem's follow-up album, "The Marshall Mathers LP," was released two weeks ago and skyrocketed to the top of the pop charts. This profanity-laced opus expands on his critically-acclaimed themes – raping his mother, killing his wife, and glorifying drug use. The first piece on the album is titled "Kill You." One verse sing-songs: "Okay, I'm ready to go play/ I got the machete from O.J./ I'm ready to make/Everyone's throats ache." The chorus taunts: "You don't wanna [expletive] with Shady/ 'Cause Shady, will [expletive] kill you (ah-ha-ha)."

White boys can get arrested: Eminem

In another murderous fantasy titled "Kim," the name of his real wife, Eminem (or is it his alter ego Slim Shady or his true self, Marshall Mathers, who knows?) screams: "Don't you get it [expletive], no one can hear you?/Now shut the [expletive] up and get what's comin to you/ You were supposed to love me (sound of woman choking)/Now bleed! [Expletive] bleed! Bleed! [Expletive] bleed!

Peerless. Profound. Powerful. Someone give this guy an NEA grant.

Eminem's groupies in the press are willing to overlook his twisted misogyny and relentless hate because, they say, it's all in the spirit of harmless creativity and hip irony. There's a Slim Shady in all of us, Neil Strauss argues. "[H]e's having so much fun that you can't help but laugh--even as you're horrified," rejoices the Washington Post's Alona Wartofsky. And as Eminem himself explained in a recent MTV interview: "I feel like my music is my therapy. Because once I sit down and write, I get everything off my chest…I get all my aggression out in the studio."

Well, not all of it. Earlier this week, Eminem was charged in Macomb County, Mich., with two felony counts of carrying a concealed weapon and assault with a deadly weapon. He was arrested last weekend after allegedly hitting a man over the head with his 9mm Smith & Wesson and threatening to kill him for kissing his wife. The victim isn't laughing. Neither are prosecutors.

Eminem is just the latest dysfunctional spawn of our Jerry Springer society. Sooner or later, he'll self-destruct. The real threat to our cultural health are those entrenched media intellectuals, lounging backstage with lattes and laptops in hand, who sanction garbage as art, expletives as entertainment, and violent perversion as lyrical poetry.

JWR contributor Michelle Malkin can be reached by clicking here.


06/07/00: "Pained" Dem leader Torricelli deserves to feel some; Why hasn't he?
06/05/00: Tom Green's hidden health-care lesson
06/01/00: Farming out the pork
05/30/00: The perils of medical quackery
05/26/00: Awarding medals by race is a disgrace
05/22/00: Have Simon & Schuster execs lost their minds!?
05/17/00: Sports plebes vs. plutocrats
05/15/00: Whitewashing Red China's record
05/12/00: Our mothers' hands
05/08/00: Focus on the real Waco
05/05/00: An Internet victim's sad story
05/03/00: Phony pooh-bahs of journalism
05/01/00: Zoo tragedy triggers dumb reaction
04/24/00: Ecoterrorists on the loose
04/19/00: Beware of Elian's psychobabblers
04/17/00: The truth about Erin Brockovich
04/13/00: In defense of an armed citizenry
04/10/00: Playing hardball with taxpayers
04/06/00: Read W.'s lips: More new spending
04/04/00: The liberal media-in-training
03/31/00: Sticking it to the children
03/28/00: Declaring war on HOV lanes
03/22/00: Clinton and the Echo Boomers
03/17/00: Is Bush a Liddy Dole Republican?
03/13/00: Katie and the politics of disease
03/10/00: Maria H, Granny D, and the media Z's
03/07/00: Bubba Van Winkle wakes up
03/03/00: Double standard for day traders?
02/28/00: Sluts and nuts --- and our daughters
02/24/00: Zoning out religious freedom
02/15/00: The Baby Brain Boondoggle
02/10/00: Buddhist temple untouchables
02/08/00: CDC: Caught Devouring Cash
02/04/00: Hillary's poisoned poster child
02/01/00: Corporate welfare on ice
01/28/00: The silly sound of silence
01/26/00: The Old Media meltdown
01/20/00: The pied pipers of KidCare
01/18/00: Our imperious judiciary
01/14/00: Tune out Columbine chorus
01/12/00: Dying to be an American
01/10/00: Time for smokers' revolt?
12/30/99: Reading, writing, PlayStation?
12/27/99: Fight money-grubbing mallrats
12/23/99: Christmas for Cornilous Pixley
12/20/99: Who will help the Hmong?
12/16/99: Shame on corn-fed politicians
12/13/99: EPA vs. the American Dream
12/09/99: Look behind the Pokemon curtain
12/06/99: Amateur hour in Seattle
11/30/99: Stop the Ritalin racketeers
11/23/99: Welfare for a sports fatcat
11/19/99: Jeb Bush's political ploy of the week
11/16/99: Ben & Jerry serve up junk science
11/12/99: A monumental waste of our veterans' resources
11/10/99: Tax-and-spend schizophrenia
11/05/99: Spooky Guy Haunts the Capital
11/02/99: Mourning the loss of the last Liberty Tree
10/27/99: AOL goes AWOL on parents
10/22/99: The persecution of Harry Potter
10/20/99: Don't doctor the law
10/14/99: The trouble with kids today
10/12/99: Pro-animal, pro-abortion, anti-speech?
10/07/99: Beltway press corps needs more skunks
09/30/99: ESPN overlooks athlete of faith, grace, and guts
09/27/99: Personal freedom going up in smoke
09/15/99: Farewell, "Miss" America
09/10/99: Will George W. work for a color-blind America?
09/03/99: Feminization of gun debate drowns out sober analysis
08/27/99: America is abundant land of equal-opportunity insult
08/10/99: Protect the next generation from diversity do-goodism
08/04/99: Sweepstakes vs. state lottery: double standards on gambling
07/21/99: "True-life tales from the Thin Red Line" (or "Honor those who sacrificed their lives for peace")
07/21/99: Reading, 'Riting, and Raunchiness?
07/14/99: Journalists' group-think is not unity
06/30/99: July Fourth programming for the Springer generation
06/25/99: Speechless in Seattle
06/15/99: Making a biblical argument against federal death taxes

© 2000, Creators Syndicate