Thursday

December 14th, 2017

Satire

General Motors Should Be Tried For Homicide

Jackie Mason

By Jackie Mason

Published

General Motors Should Be Tried For Homicide
General Motors is rapidly becoming more popular for killing people than driving people.

If you created a high wire for a trapeze artist that knowingly didn't work and as soon as he took the first step the wire snapped, it wouldn't take more than an hour for the manufacturer of that wire to land in jail.

This teaches us a profound lesson. Never take a chance with anything that can kill people without first forming a corporation.

Different parts of General Motors cars are so screwed up, that the driver can't predict if the car is going to go backwards, forward or sideways.

After dozen of people were involved in crashes and more people were actually killed or injured by General Motors car than by Al Qaida, they finally made an announcement that they would look into it and that there might actually be a problem with their cars.

The fact is, they don't have a problem with their car; they have a problem with their conscience.

The claim that they didn't know that their cars were killing people makes as much sense as somebody claiming that they didn't know the Second World War was killing people. They then issued a statement that they would immediately investigate how it happened.

This is just as fake as OJ Simpson claiming that he was investigating who killed his wife.

We observe a crazy double standard in this country. If one person commits a crime he is responsible, but if you form a corporation and you commit hundreds of crimes somehow nobody is responsible.

The obvious question is where is the outrage? Why General Motors isn't held responsible, just as much as any other killer?

Why did dozens of people have to die before they elected to do anything about it? If it could be that human lives were sacrificed in order to protect their profits, why are we depending on General Motors to investigate themselves?

Did we wait for the high wire manufacturer to investigate himself?

Will we accept the IRS investigating itself? It is about time that we put a stop to the idea, that you can commit mass murder, but you will be free to dance at weddings for the rest of your life, if you first formed a corporation.

If you wonder why no mention has been made about the fact that the United States Senate has now formed a committee to investigate the situation, the simple answer is, "I didn't want to waste your time talking about the waste of time of Senate investigations."

We all know that the last time a Senate investigation accomplished anything was about a month before Columbus discovered America.

Very often they don't even know what the investigation is about. One Senator found himself wandering through his speech that was going nowhere because the paper written by the staff member was misplaced and he was mumbling along until he could find it.

Another Senator missed his turn to talk because he was too busy standing in front of a mirror trying to cover up his bald spot before he appeared on television. Instead of an investigation it becomes free time on television to campaign for office.

You see the Senator grasping for the microphone like a dying man grasping for air. The only calm Senator is the one who was just elected, the rest are busy jumping, screaming, bullying, abusing and attacking, and each one is involved with his or her own problems.

Usually one of them is running behind in the polls for the next election and he is so desperate for attention, he would attack his own mother if she were sitting in front of him. One Senator is running against another Senator and is too busy investigating him to care about investigating anybody else. Do you have any idea of how many Senate investigations have taken place?

It's easier to count the number of people in China than to remember the number of Senate investigations. Have you ever heard of a Senate investigation accomplishing anything? It is easier to feel the impact of a tidal wave from Pacific Ocean, than the impact of the Senate investigations.

They investigated Benghazi and no matter how hard you try can you feel any results?

Did you hear about the IRS investigation, it looks like the IRS didn't hear about it either?

The Senate investigation accomplished only one thing, it made us realize that instead of the Senators investigating other people, we should all be investigating the Senators.

If you believe that a group of self-obsessed senators and General Motors, who have proven to contemptuously sacrifice lives for profits; if you believe that they could find anybody to identify anyone guilty of this criminal behavior, then somebody should knock on your door as loudly as possible, because you are dreaming the impossible dream.

If this were an individual, he would be tried for homicide, why not General Motors?

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