It had been a while since Pierre Cliche had let folks have a peek at his factory in an old abandoned warehouse on the south side of town. It was clear at once that he'd been busy running an assembly line of metaphors to describe the economic news since the British decided to leave the
Artillery lingo was heavily favored by the headline writers. Comparisons with mere sledgehammers and bullets seemed almost medieval as policymakers tried more than their best to shore up their monetary policy in the face of a storm that never materialized. The manufacturers of today's overwrought clichés might as well have used comparisons to crossbows and battlements. The knights in shining armor of the old days had grown creaky with rust long, long ago.
Officials on the Continent were now said to crave "a trigger," "a final bazooka," as the
Oh, for the blessedly simple days when monetary advisers were just divided into (a) hawks who favored tighter credit in order to protect their national currencies and (b) doves who preferred loosening the reins over credit in order to re-inflate their economies. That way, money would get flowing again to those who would circulate it, no matter how worthless the currency. Call it the Venezuelan remedy. It's supposed to be a cure but, as in
Remember the Multiplier Effect that was going to revitalize endangered economies? Simplistic metaphors have come a long way since then. A long way down. Maybe because it's not easy to come up with language that's original. Which is what keeps types like Pierre Cliché so busy rebranding their old wares. Military terminology will go only so far.
To quote a former interest rate setter for the
All of which may be why Pierre Cliche gave us a rueful smile as he said goodbye. He seemed eager to get back to his futile work. The appetite for mindless clichés is never satisfied as credulous types trust there's some kind of magic in just repeating them, forgetting that there's no incantation that can take the place of unremitting patience, hard work and real effort.
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Paul Greenberg is the Pulitzer-winning editorial page editor of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.