Let's emasculate baseball

Here we are at the last stages of the baseball season. I enjoy baseball for a lot of reasons, not least of all the fact that there are no politics involved. Or I should say there never used to be.

Sad to say, even in baseball liberal political correctness has crept in. It started a few years ago when major league baseball began sanctioning LGBT nights at the ballparks. That was a clear sign that it had taken sides with the cultural political left. And I find that rather queer.

And that's not all. Just this year major league baseball has instituted another politically correct change. It may not seem like such a big deal, but it represents a definite shift leftward. Remember when players got hurt they were put on the DL (disabled list)? Not anymore. Now they are put on the IL (injured list).

Changing the word "disabled" to "injured" went into effect this year, presumably so as not to offend people who have permanent disabilities.

Well okay, but if you think of it, the term "injury" can be just as bad. After all there are people who have life-threatening permanent injuries, right? So here's my recommendation to the MLB: change the IL to the OL, as in "owie list." You know, like when a young child gets hurt he has an "owie." That way it's safe and when a ball player gets put on the owie list no one can be offended. (Expect maybe very young children.)

Since MLB is into non-offensive language these days, there are several areas that they might want to consider making changes in.

One obvious one would be what they call it when a batter strikes out at the plate. When an umpire yells, "You're out!" he is definitely shaming that player. And after all, we must not be judgmental. We shouldn't do anything that shames a player. So in the future I suggest that instead of "three strikes and you're out," the ump just quietly informs the player that he has finished at bat and he may leave now.

The same goes for a runner who has been tagged or thrown out running for a base. The umpire shouldn't say, "You're out!" which again is shameful and judgmental. Instead the ump should merely say, "Nice try. You may return to the dugout now."

The term "shutout" must be eliminated from baseball vocabulary as well. One should never shut out anyone or anything. It is exclusionary and we must always strive to be inclusive. "Hit and run" is another term with a negative connotation. When you do it with a car it is against the law. And "hitting" in general is an act of violence and toxic male aggression.

Another thing that needs to be addressed is the way that pitches are thrown. Many pitchers throw the ball across the plate much too fast and aggressively, which often confuses and intimidates the batter. This is clearly an act of purposeful bullying. We cannot allow this sort of behavior to be seen by impressionable children who might imitate it on the schoolyard.

To avoid this aggressiveness we need to adopt a less violent way of pitching, such as underhanded. Bullies should never be seen as sports heroes and must never, ever be given Cy Young Awards.

Which is another thing; all major league baseball awards should be curtailed. No more recognizing the ability of one player over another. Think how bad the player who didn't receive an award must feel. Either give everyone an award or give nobody an award. Fair and equal participation awards only.

If it's good enough for elementary school, it's good enough for the majors.

But most important of all, in keeping with the direction our politically correct liberal society is headed, we really have to totally eliminate Right Field altogether and just have two Left Fields.

Or maybe a Left and a Far Left field.

Sign up for the daily JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

(COMMENT, BELOW)

JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. He's been a JWR contributor since 1999.