May 25th, 2024


Half-baked ideas?

Greg Crosby

By Greg Crosby

Published May 11,2018

Half-baked ideas?
Periodically I go through the pile of papers on my desk comprised of half-baked ideas, notes, margin scribbles and other oddities that I've jotted down over time with the intention of using as potential jumping off points for future columns. Sadly, much of what I have collected is unusable. Ideas that once seemed novel and brilliant have magically turned putrid and obsolete. Even ideas have a shelf life it seems.

But a few tidbits have survived the months (and in some cases the years) on the desk and retain a modicum of interest, to me at least, and hopefully to you as well. I share some of them with you now.

If heterosexuals can be homophobic, why can't homosexuals be heterophobic?

Question: First it was called Cape Canaveral, then after President Kennedy was killed it was renamed Cape Kennedy in his honor. It remained Cape Kennedy from 1963 to 1973 before it once again became Cape Canaveral. Why did they change the name back to the original?

Answer: Although the name change was approved by the U.S. Board on Geographic Names of the Department of the Interior in December 1963, it was not popular in Florida from the outset, especially in the bordering city of Cape Canaveral. In 1973, the Florida Legislature passed a law in May restoring the former 400-year-old name, and the Board went along. The name restoration to Cape Canaveral became official on October 9, 1973.

"But there is no turning time, inexorably it moves from under youÑwhat you were yesterday is fixed for always, making its mark on what you are today, what you will be tomorrow." From "The Horizontal Man" by Helen Eustis.

* No society in history, until ours, has had people pay so much to universities to teach their children to hate that very same society.

A wonderful name for a Damon Runyon character: Sonny Morose.

* Man knows as sure as he's born, he will die. Even as we live, we wait for death. We're the only creatures on earth who are aware of our mortality. We become more acutely aware as we grow older.

It's a myth that women are the weaker sex. They are not demure, coy, and bashful. Women can be tough, aggressive, spiteful and unrelentingly willful. They make tough ruthless leaders. But the fact that they act upon feelings more than logic in any given situation is exactly why men have tried to keep them out of business and politics for centuries.

There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you.

Speaking of puddles, how come no one wears raincoats anymore? Or galoshes? California aside, it still rains in some places, no?

Ever notice that the news media will use the term the "religious Right" but never the "religious Left?" That's because "religious Left" is an oxymoron.

Am I the only one in the world who hates acronyms? It's especially annoying when it comes to diseases and other health related issues. This person or that person suffers from ADSC. Do you have PDOC? Isn't that awful, their child has CDDT. Just say what the thing is, don't give me initials. Why do I have to work at trying to understand what the hell the disorder is?

Along the same lines, have you noticed that no one uses the term venereal disease anymore? Not even the initials V.D. are used these days as they once were. The socially acceptable term now is STD's (as in sexually transmitted diseases). My theory is the powers that be want to remove the negative stigma associated with someone having V.D. Saying that someone has STD's doesn't sound as bad. It might even sound kind of cool. "Hey, I got some STD's the other day!"

The trend in modern times is to take two words and blend them together to make a new idea. Advertorials, edutainment, and docudrama are but three examples. Here are a few more we could add to the mix. Faction (fact and fiction). Hold (hot and cold). Lark (light and dark). Tart (tall and short). Fin (fat and thin) or That (thin and fat.)

There. My desk looks cleaner already.

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JWR contributor Greg Crosby, former creative head for Walt Disney publications, has written thousands of comics, hundreds of children's books, dozens of essays, and a letter to his congressman. He's been a JWR contributor since 1999.