April 17th, 2021


Let's get Real

Greg Crosby

By Greg Crosby

Published March 3, 2017

An awful lot has been written and talked about lately concerning fake this and fake that (fake news, fake truth, fake elections, fake protests, fake tweets, fake Academy Award winners, etc.). While I don't claim to be an authority on what's fake and what isn't fake, like the guy who says, "I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like," I have my opinions.

Here's a good motto for you. If you want to find diamonds, don't look in a manure pile. Likewise if you want to find truth, don't look for it from people who make their living being fakes. Actors are experts at pretending. That's their job. They deal in fakery, not facts. We love our actors for that, because now and then it's fun to leave the real world and to escape into fantasy.

The entire movie industry is built on illusion, always has been. Fake worlds, fake streets, fake towns, fake situations, fake families, fake relationships, fake courage, fake emotions, and even fake beauty. It's all magic, it's pretend, it's make-believe. Most people get that, but sadly there are a few people that can't tell the difference between real and fake, and that's dangerous.

It's dangerous when a delusional fan believes that the actress who plays a sexy tart so well in the movies is like that in real life and so he stalks her. And it's just as dangerous when a fan tries to pick a fight with an actor just because that actor is known for being a tough guy in films. Equally dangerous is assuming an actor knows what he or she is talking about when it comes to politics or real life social issues.

Expecting to get wisdom and depth from actors on the important issues of our time is akin to looking for diamonds in that manure pile. Oh sure, it's possible you might accidently come across one, but chances are, all you will find will be manure. Actors' political opinions are no more valid than your gardener's opinion or your Aunt Edna's opinion. The difference is actors can do a better job of convincing you that they know what they're talking about because...well, because they're actors.

And the bigger the star, the more out of touch with reality they can be. The big superstars live in a glass bubble, surrounded only by agreeable underlings, hangers-on and their peers who share the same isolated, skewed views of the world they do. One example of this alternative universe, which many of them inhabit, would be laughable if it weren't so creepy. Hint: it has to do with eyebrows. True story.

Australian eyebrow-artist to the stars Sharon-Lee Hamilton was flown from Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles to tend to a select few celebrities' eyebrows before the 2017 Academy Award show. Some sources have reported that Leonardo DiCaprio was among a select group of Hollywood elite who flew Hamilton the 7,500 miles across the Pacific Ocean just to do their eyebrows for the show. His people say he wasn't involved, but regardless, the fact is the eyebrow maven was flown in by somebody.

The eyebrow artist didn't reveal all the celebrities she treated before the Oscars, but her previous clients include Beyoncé, George Clooney, Kim Kardashian, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Serena Williams and Princess Mary of Denmark.

Hamilton says that when she travels on request, as she did for this, all her expenses are paid for. Her signature brow consultation alone costs $200 for men, so it's safe to say the stars paid a small fortune for their perfect Oscars brows. Hamilton's website states that the treatment includes:

"A full face read, followed by an all-inclusive service that comprises any tints, stains or lightening required in conjunction with your full expert shaping. Included is an eyelash tint as well as a glycolic infused collagen eye treatment plus a full heated paraffin hand treatment followed by a light eye makeup application." Wow! I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.

Just one more bit of excessive icing on the fake cake. It's all a part of the illusion, folks. That's show biz. That's also narcissism. But I'll tell you what it isn't. It isn't any relation at all to the real world, as most of us know it to be.