Wednesday

April 24th, 2024

Insight

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report

Argus Hamilton

By Argus Hamilton

Published Dec. 23, 2021

Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report
Bing Crosby's White Christmas won a survey naming it America's all-time favorite Christmas song last week. However here in L.A., secular zealots are trying to get Andy Williams' Christmas recording of Do You Hear What I Hear banned from radio play. They say it's offensive to deaf people.

Jussie Smollett awaits sentencing in Chicago for hiring Nigerians to pretend to beat him up on the street and telling him that this is MAGA Country. It's not as big a hoax as it sounds. Don't tell Jussie Smollett, but Biden's approval ratings are so low they indicate this is, indeed, MAGA Country.

President Biden will go on television Today and address the abrupt spike in Covid infections due to Omicron variant. The president will do his best to coach us on how to survive a pandemic that won't go away. If I were the coach, I would send coffee to the bench and order alcohol to suit up.

The New York Post reported opposition to mandates and huge support for Pfizer finishing up testing on the Covid treatment pill. I believe that Pfizer should test the Covid therapeutic treatment pills on Congress. If they survive, then the medicine is safe, and if they don't then the country is safe.

The NFL altered its Covid policy Sunday to allow more players to stay on the active list amid the milder variants. You can play if you test positive but you aren't infectious or show symptoms. In the closest watched game of all, Alec Baldwin is still leading the Omicron Variant, one-to-nothing.

Senate Democrats ripped Democratic Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia for not voting for Biden's spending bill. The media blames pressure from Trump backers. To that point, Manchin goes back and forth to West Virginia weekly and he's never seen anybody wearing a Build Back Better hat. President Biden addressed the nation Tuesday and rang the alarm for testing against the new but weak Omicron strain. The president was tested by White House doctors earlier that day and found to be confused, agitated and displaying signs of slurred speech. So he's fine, everything's a go.

Parliament security in London will deploy dogs to detect cocaine at the Members' entrance as Members have been getting high during sessions. Onlookers entering the gallery entrance won't be checked. The House of Parliament is the only arena where the nosebleed seats are on the front row.

Senator Elizabeth Warren got into a Twitter fight with Space-X CEO and owner of Tesla Elon Musk over his low federal tax liability in his returns last year. But this year, Elon Musk could set an IRS record by paying a twelve billion dollar tax bill that's due in April. You'd want to go to Mars, too.

Elon Musk sent his Space X rocket to the Space Station Tuesday to deliver Christmas presents and chocolates to the astronauts onboard. So never say that Hollywood doesn't produce some good in this world. I've loved Elon Musk ever since he played the brainy guy on the Big Bang Theory.

GET ARGUS' DAILY SMILES to your inbox. Sign up for the JWR update. It's free. Just click here.

Bette Midler apologized for her fury at Joe Manchin by calling West Virginians poor, illiterate and strung out. West Virginians have only themselves to blame for her abuse. They're the ones who broke off from Virginia in 1863 believing that New Yorkers would be glad to have them in the Union.

British socialite Ghislaine Maxwell's trial for grooming underage girls for the sexual pleasure of her boss the late billionaire Jeffrey Epstein went to the jury on Tuesday in Manhattan. The last day of the trial was spectacular. Ghislaine Maxwell retained R. Kelly to sing the closing argument.

The White House announced an HHS plan to offer bonuses to doctors who apply anti-racism evaluations to patient diagnoses. They're to treat racial disparities as political, not physiological. The American Medical Association just declared the Anglo-Saxon Virus more dangerous than Covid.

Los Angeles people warned people to look out for thieves who follow you home from the bank then rob you. Last week an idiot in L.A. was arrested after he robbed a Wells Fargo then stopped at an ATM outside to deposit the stolen cash in his account. This man is why we have the Electoral College.

(COMMENT, BELOW)

Columnists

Toons