Least Competent Criminals | Ewwwww!

• Steven Gomez-Maya, 20, handed tellers at the TD Bank North in Seymour, Connecticut, a note on Aug. 19, demanding money. He apparently failed to notice that his note was written on the back of his girlfriend's pay stub, and when he tried to return to the bank (presumably to retrieve the note), the doors were locked. Seymour police tracked down the owner of the pay stub, and when they arrived at the girlfriend's home, they caught Gomez-Maya as he was driving away. The hat he wore during the robbery and "a large amount of $10 bills" were found in the car, and he was charged with first-degree robbery. [Valley Independent Sentinel, 8/31/2017]

• Forget the horrifying clown from "It." The newest inhabitant of your nightmares is a giant "fatberg" in the sewer system beneath the streets of London. A fatberg is created by a buildup of fat and grease combined with used diapers, sanitary napkins and wipes. This one is almost the length of three football fields and weighs more than 140 tons. Matt Rimmer with London's Thames Water said the current glob is "a total monster and is taking a lot of manpower and machinery to remove, as it's set hard." He said it's basically like trying to break up concrete. [Metro News, 9/12/2017]