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Jewish World Review Dec. 30, 2004 / 18 Teves, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news ....


http://www.NewsAndOpinion.com | The Oklahoma Sooners and USC Trojans arrived in Miami Tuesday for the Orange Bowl. Both schools are trying to shed their images. Oklahoma banned alcohol last week and USC has stopped teaching that George Hamilton is the Father of Our Country.


George Carlin entered rehab for alcohol and drugs Monday at the age of sixty-seven. The comedian said he was hooked on wine and pain pills. As the nights went by in Las Vegas it increasingly sounded like Henry Kissinger was doing his act.


South Asia was devastated by a gigantic tidal wave Sunday. Politicians are at a loss. Democrats can't blame it on global warming, Republicans can't blame it on terrorism, and anybody who calls it an Act of G-d will never carry a Red State again.


Hillary Clinton ripped illegal immigration last week and made huge inroads with conservatives. Pundits who once cursed her name find themselves falling for her. This is just more evidence that after years of trying, she finally got the hair right.


Transportation Secretary Norm Mineta launched a probe of all the delays at airports that ruined so many Christmases. Americans are fed up with air travel. Next time you want to take a trip without the kids, try LSD and birth control pills.

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