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Jewish World Review Dec. 24, 2004 / 12 Teves, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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And now for the
important news .... | Barry Manilow will open at the Las Vegas Hilton tonight in the same showroom where Elvis Presley performed. There's a big difference between them. Elvis didn't wear as many spangles and sparkles and rhinestones as Barry Manilow does when he gardens.

The U.S. Navy said Monday it has relieved two dozen commanders for inappropriate behavior with women. We've reached the crossroads. The Navy can either require faithful and decent conduct by its officers or stop naming ships after the Kennedys.

The Lexington School Board was sued Wednesday by a girl banned from the prom for wearing a dress styled as a Confederate flag. This is an important story. It gives Americans a general idea about how long the reconstruction of Iraq is going to take.

Oklahoma University banned alcohol on campus last week, sparking debate. It's quite an opportunity. The new policy will produce so many talented bootleggers that a new generation of NASCAR drivers will never be more than two semesters away.

The Transportation Safety Administration on Wednesday ordered airport screeners to stop feeling women's breasts during patdowns. It's the end of an era. The TSA was the last government agency to still have President Clinton's picture on the wall.

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