Jewish World Review Dec. 17, 2004 / 5 Teves, 5765
important news ....
Scott Peterson was convicted of murder and recommended the
death penalty by his jury this week. The state bar association was
hugely relieved. If one more wife-killer got off in California no
one would ever pay for a divorce lawyer again.
The Weather Channel said Tuesday bitter cold hit the Eastern
Seaboard. There were record-low temperatures. In New York City,
people were sleeping three to a bed in silent tribute to Bernard
Kerik's brief career as Homeland Security Secretary.
John McCain ripped baseball over steroids Monday when
players said they used steroids to help them win. What hypocrisy.
If steroids helped senators win, they'd all be buying baby oil by
the case to look their best for the New Hampshire primary.
Kobe Bryant discussed his unpopularity on ESPN Wednesday. He
told cops Shaq paid off women and he told reporters Karl Malone
hit on his wife. Compared to Kobe Bryant, that guy in Ukraine who
was poisoned doesn't have an enemy in the world.
Ukraine presidential candidate Viktor Yushchenko was
diagnosed by doctors Tuesday to have been poisoned during the
campaign by someone slipping dioxin into his soup. It's affected
people's daily lives. Voters in Ukraine now pray after they eat.
The State Department put Hezbollah's satellite television
station on its list of terrorist organizations. Picture the
variety shows. Last week Iranian Idol was won by a Frank Sinatra
impersonator who sang I've Got You Strapped to My Chest.
Congressman John Conyers asked the FBI Wednesday to impound
voting machines in Ohio over computer rigging. Something was very
fishy. The three names on the ballot in Cuyahoga County were
George Bush and John Kerry and Reparations Information.
Tennis superstar Anna Kournikova married Enrique Iglesias in
Puerto Vallarta last week. She has been around the block. When the
groom raised his glass and toasted his bride as the most wonderful
lover he ever enjoyed, the waiter joined him.
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