Clicking on banner ads enables JWR to constantly improve
Jewish World Review Dec. 3, 2003 / 8 Kislev, 5764

Argus Hamilton

JWR's Pundits
World Editorial
Cartoon Showcase

Mallard Fillmore

Michael Barone
Mona Charen
Linda Chavez
Ann Coulter
Greg Crosby
Larry Elder
Don Feder
Suzanne Fields
James Glassman
Paul Greenberg
Bob Greene
Betsy Hart
Nat Hentoff
David Horowitz
Marianne Jennings
Michael Kelly
Mort Kondracke
Ch. Krauthammer
Lawrence Kudlow
Dr. Laura
John Leo
Michelle Malkin
Jackie Mason
Chris Matthews
Michael Medved
Kathleen Parker
Wes Pruden
Sam Schulman
Amity Shlaes
Roger Simon
Tony Snow
Thomas Sowell
Cal Thomas
Jonathan S. Tobin
Ben Wattenberg
George Will
Bruce Williams
Walter Williams
Mort Zuckerman

Consumer Reports

And now for the
important news .... | Lawrence Taylor told CBS 60 Minutes Sunday that he drank and did cocaine and procured hookers throughout his NFL career. His goal was never the Hall of Fame. Lawrence Taylor will not rest until he's elected to the original cast of Saturday Night Live.

The Animal Defense League staged a protest against furriers in Beverly Hills Friday. The group isn't stupid. They choose to protest fur rather than leather because it is a lot safer to throw paint on elderly Jewish women than Hell's Angels.

The Beverly Hilton was the site of a meeting Tuesday of movie executives and agents who want to defeat President Bush. Terms were simple. They offered Hillary Clinton forty million dollars plus her name above the country if she will just agree to run.

Al Sharpton is set to host NBC's Saturday Night Live this week. His positions now emphasize hard work and family and responsibility. You know the Democratic Party is in deep trouble when Al Sharpton is the candidate of the angry white males.

Dennis Kucinich said Sunday he's been flooded with responses to his Find a First Lady Contest. He will never be elected president, but all U.S. Congressmen have something that no woman can resist in this day and age. It's called health benefits.

Howard Dean said Monday he was prepared to go to Vietnam if his medical deferment was denied by his draft board. He had a rare lower back condition that kept him out of Vietnam but not off the ski slopes. It was diagnosed as money up the wazzooh.

Michael Jackson remained holed up in a Las Vegas hotel Monday. He is rumored to be negotiating for a casino showroom to do a music and magic show. In case the topless sunbathing didn't persuade you to leave the kids at home, this should do it.

Donate to JWR

Appreciate this writer's work? Why not sign-up for JWR's daily update. It's free. Just click here.

Argus' Archives Archives

JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2002, Argus Hamilton