Jewish World Review Dec. 23, 2003 / 28 Kislev, 5763

Jerry Della Femina

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Att. Dean, don't worry, Americans have short memories | Relax, Howie, you've got something that will never change on your side. Our lousy memories. I say the day will be January 15th. That's the day we will all forget that we caught that pig Saddam Hussein and go back to acting like the war in Iraq is a disaster. Naturally, there will be Democrats like you who will start the ball rolling earlier.

That's your hard core 38 percent who hate George W. even more than they hate a sadist, mass murderer like Saddam. Maybe one of those Fox, MSNBC, CNN cable network polling gimmicks might come up with the question, "If you were forced to vote for one candidate and George Bush was the Republican candidate and Saddam Hussein was running as the Democratic candidate who would you vote for?" Bet that Saddam gets double figures.

But don't worry, Howie, people forget. If they could forget September 11 and the 3,000 innocent people who died, they can forget that we captured that scumbag Saddam while he was hiding in a hole. One late night comedian said that Michael Jackson put up a tougher fight when he was arrested than Saddam.

So, Howie, baby, you can say anything you want about Saddam and the war in Iraq. You can even say something as asinine and deplorable as you said the other day about George W. having advance notice from the Saudis about September 11.

Howie, did you see the look on the Presidents face when he spoke about your accusation? The last time I saw a look like that was on the face of a wonderful old lawyer named Joseph Welch when another demagogue named Joseph McCarty accused a member of Welch's staff of being a communist. Welch had that same look on his face when he said to McCarthy, " You've done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"

Don't worry for a second about having any sense of decency. You're running for President. You're telling everyone that you want to take the country back from a good tough heroic man whose shoes I don't think you're capable of shining and put it into your hands. Howie, I think you should set up campaign headquartered in Syria and Iran. I'll bet they can't wait to deal with President Dean.

But, what I think doesn't matter. Its what that 38 percent of your hard core audience thinks and anyone else you can get. By January 15th you can get your show back on the road again, secure in the knowledge that after a few days, no one remembers and, in the end, no one gives a damn.

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JWR contributor Jerry Della Femina was recently named by Advertising Age as one of the 100 Most Influential Advertising People of the Century. He's perhaps the most sought-after advertising expert in the country, there is no network, no publication and no organization on which, in which, or before which Mr. Della Femina has not appeared. He is also the author of two books, From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor (a best-seller), and An Italian Grows in Brooklyn (a non-seller). Comment by clicking here.


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© 2002, Jerry Della Femina