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Jewish World Review Nov. 18 2004 / 5 Kislev, 5765

Argus Hamilton

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Consumer Reports
And now for the
important news .... | ABC Monday Night Football opened with Desperate Housewife Nicolette Sheridan dropping her bath towel and leaping naked into the arms of Terrell Owens. The scene took days to shoot. Every time he caught her he spiked her and went into a chicken dance.

The Desert Inn in Las Vegas was imploded Tuesday by carefully placed charges of dynamite. The famed hotel came down in seconds. Will Farrell stood on a pile of rubble that used to be the showroom and vowed that we will get whoever did this.

John Kerry told reporters Monday he has plenty of fight left in him. He said if he decides to run again he has nearly fifty million dollars in his campaign account. At the very least it's enough to tell Teresa that everyone sees a blonde on the side.

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JWR contributor Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. To comment or arrange for speaking engagements, please click here.

© 2004, Argus Hamilton